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The Matrix Revolutions
See also our funny reviews of The Matrix and The Matrix Reloaded
Short plot summary

Girl and boy are hopelessly in love. Boy manages to get himself out of train station of death. Boy gets into a fight. Boy goes (temporarily) blind. Girl loves him even more. They fight everyone. Boy saves world in Jesus Christ type metaphor.

Please tell me the ending or whole plot if necessary

Neo is imprisoned in an underground train station. He manages to escape by getting on the train despite the Trainman's best efforts to stop him.

The machines attack and Neo fights Smith who has been infiltrated by The Oracle to weaken him in one of the most original equation balancing techniques seen on the big screen.

The machines eventually get their asses whipped in what was, to this time in cinema history, the best ever simulation of a technology war ever seen on the big screen.

The world is free. Yipeee!

What our panel of critics thought

"This movie is so good it almost made up for my disappointment in the second part, but as I demanded my money back for that one I will just keep quiet now. Damn, I hate it when that happens."

"Fantastic."

"I still don't understand: If they can dodge bullets why do they hide behind things when being fired at (Timekeeper scene)?"

"There are moments when I noticed the stunt man. I want my money back!"

"Beautiful lighting throughout. Amazing."

"A veritable smorgasbord of high tech revelry. Once ensconced into the immediacy of the narrative one is overwhelmed by the special effect bedlam that ensues."

"A superb movie with some exquisitely detailed special effects."

"Reeves' acting with that eye bandage on is some of his best work ever."

"What awful luck to have had to film that fight sequence in the rain. Couldn't they have waited for it to stop? I do hate it when rain water goes down the back of my neck, but then that's what makes me such a silly old goat!"

"All that rain and not an umbrella in sight. Bravisimo!"

"Did bad boy Smith base his voice on multi Oscar award winning actor/director Clint Eastwood? Thank goodness he didn't say 'go ahead punk make my day' the lawsuits would have been endless."

"I agreed to fight my best mate in slow motion once, but we stopped when it started to rain. You've got to admire Neo and Smith's persistence. But then that's probably why they get paid $4mn a picture and me and my mate don't."

"Is there an alternative ending for us Depressives who wanted the world to end?"

What snack should I eat while watching this movie?
Turtle soup with crispy toasted croutons in the shape of teddy bear paws.
Quotable quotes (real)

"...make up your own damn mind..."

"no one can help you..."

"ha ha ha ha I don't believe zis..."

"It is remarkable how similar the pattern of love is to the pattern of insanity."

"Know Thyself."

"Everything that has a beginning has an end."

Criticize the color scheme in this movie, damn you!

The trademark high green content of this movie gives it a deliciously cold ambiance and you really appreciate the reds of the French guy, to signify warmth and human emotion. Sacre bleu!

Bitch about something! AT ONCE!

The actress who played the original Oracle died so had to be replaced in this movie.

This is such a good lesson in life as to how easily someone can be replaced. It took about 4 sentences by our calculation.

If I were to watch this on video/DVD how best should I sit?

As if sitting in the lotus position on hot coals.

Is there enough licky love in this film?
A few moments of tongue on tongue lip-wrestling in betwixt lots of running and fighting with guns.
For the benefit of search engines, what on earth was the name of the subway station in which Neo was imprisoned?
MOBIL AVE
Suggest marketing tie-in products based on this movie

Karate Class: How to crunch a nose with one finger

Cookery Book: Baking Cookies The Oracle Way

Book: Starting a fight using the Morpheus eyeballing technique

The patent pending fighting umbrella for all martial arts matches in the rain.

DVD, shower cap and book set: Successful techniques for fighting in water, volume 3

How much would you pay for a copy of this movie in goods?
A pair of Neo's uncrunchable in fist fights sunglasses.
Other comments

This is a classy movie with absolutely top notch special effects. At the time of review we didn't much like the second in the trilogy, however this movie is much better and makes up for a lot (we may even go back to revise our review).

Revolutions is a great blockbuster movie, don't miss it, and try to watch it on a big screen to fully appreciate the magnificent special effects.

This movie has the ultimate fight scene in it, with no expenses spared. The difficulty of doing it all in the rain like they did, and the moments in slow motion in the rain, are truly monumentally awesome.

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