An apparently dead body is found floating in the sea. It is picked up by a passing boat and the ship's doctor removes two bullets from his back. But, silly, he is not dead at all, and, although he cannot remember what his name is, once he is dried off he soon finds he has special power-like abilities...

"Is this where the term 'Bourne again' came from?"

"This type of movie always annoys me. Doesn't anyone in Europe recognise it's Matt Damon?"

"I doubt he could get down from that wall quite as well had there not been such nifty editing."

"Dark, wet and European throughout."

"So if he was worth $30 million does that mean he was 5 times better than 1970's TV's Bionic Man, Steve Austin? It must be so, whenever he jumped over something there wasn't that creaky chi chi chi sound."

"This movie must put the final stop to Clive Owen (The Professor - an assassin) becoming the next James Bond. He will never live it down, being shot by an American like that!"

"It's nice to see that troubled Will Hunting has finally made something out of his life. Bravisimo. Encore!"

Jason Bourne (Matt Damon) is a $30million US agent gone bad (or good depending on your politics). Our Jay (he is never called this) is an assassin who seems to have failed in his bid to execute a target (because a young child was involved?) But he doesn't know who he is... or what his past was... until it is revealed to him one tantalising plot point at a time...

Bourne is trained to be a cold hearted assassin (we are told he is supposed to be an invisible cold hearted assassin actually) but even though he can kick and punch like an over excited kangaroo on the bounciest trampoline, the bit when they trained him to be a bastard sort of melts away and he becomes all kind'n'caring. Which is just as well really because he persuades Marie Helena Kreutz (Franka Potente) to give him a lift to Paris and it would have been all too convenient to shoot the mare in the head and save on the fare... But, as luck would have it, he falls for her, so spends the rest of the film protecting her from people out to bring him down, and there are an awful lot of em.

I presume Robert Ludlam, the author of the book called The Bourne Identity, did well out of this movie, although heaven knows how true to the book this movie is. But, to be quite frank, who cares when Matt Damon, that uber spunky fellow, is involved.

I threw caution to the wind and sat down with my Super Saver sherry to enjoy what was one of the most entertaining movies for a while, although, to be quite frank, after three glasses I am anybody's (never fear dear reader whilst sometimes I am completely drunk when I watch a movie, I only ever opine when sober).

This is a good actioner, although a little bit episodic. On the very edge of qualifying for inclusion on this web site's Popcorn strand, but it is not, saved by three factors. Firstly Matt Damon, secondly the European scenery is stunning and thirdly a delicious European darkness rarely seen in an English language pan-Atlantic mainstream movie.

Trouble is it is all a very humourless affair. The recent movie I most compared it to was The Transporter, another European flavoured actioner, starring the much grittier Jason Statham. The Transporter has some genuinely funny, jokey, moments.

[At the risk of repeating common wisdom: If you want to see Matt Damon at his best there is always the magnificent Good Will Hunting, he's also himself in the brilliant Dogma. ]

No, and that is why it feels a little too clinically cold. How much money did they save by cutting out a few jokes? Shame, a missed opportunity.

The bit when the guy with the gun smashes through the window is clearly on some kind of wire but his chances were never really that good once the kick-punch-kneeing starts. Nice solid thumps by the way, well done to the sound department.