Studio executives summary / pitch
|
| A
tale of attempted murder, actual murder and shooting and then rebuilding again
whilst running really fast. The Terminator also grows spiritually to become force
for good from evil, listen up dictator dudes this could be for you...
|
Short plot
summary |
|
One
All the
Sarah Connors in town are being executed in the order they appear in the telephone
directory. Thankfully, our hero is number three in the list and so realizes what
is going on. The
Terminator (Arnold Schwartzenneger) hunts her down like a rabbit but fails to
get her. The Terminator comes from the future, as does another, human, time traveler
and good guy who befriends Sarah and then fathers a child with her. The Terminator
is eventually killed after moments of animatronic/ stop-frame animation mayhem.
Two Sarah
is now in an asylum after giving birth to a son, John. Arnold Schwartzenegger
plays the Terminator again, but this time he is the good guy - his opponent in
this movie is a super advanced Terminator whose task now is to kill John Connor,
who in the future becomes the leader of the rebellion. This
time the special effects are more expensive, including moments of liquid metal
rebuilding which were impressive in their day. Both
Terminators get destroyed in the end, and the guy who invented the Terminator
technology destroys his work (and so they should have disappeared there and then,
if Back to the Future time paradox theory was correct). |
What
our panel of critics said
|
| "Perhaps
I shouldn't be telling you this, my dear, but I have been to a sex shop recently
and bought my very own Terminator vibrator. It is really quite fine and I am completely
satisfied with my purchase." "OK
OK, tell me this then. In the second one the reason they say The Terminator can't
create a gun is that it is a complex machine with oils and moving parts, but they
can do themselves? Don't they know how complicated human joints are? It made me
so sick I wrote a letter. Damn hell fire." "Arnold,
put some clothes on, my dear, you'll catch your death." "And
the biggest bitch slap in this movie goes to.... Sarah Connor for being so completely
outrageously mad in the second movie. Girlfriend, sort yourself out." "I
would still like to see Arnold Schwartzennegger sing." "My,
Mr Terminator, Sir, where did you get that nice hair cut? Do they do a wig in
that?" "I
still say the Rock could take him." "Mr
Terminator - you shot that nice gun shop owner! How ironic that you did it with
his own gun! Is this a metaphor for the whore gun industry, selling arms to whomsoever
needs them and then getting their butt kicked when those whom bought the stuff
turn nasty? Yes I thought so. A delight from start to finish." "Whilst
murders pepper this movie, it does not detract from the almost cerebral consequentialness
of the underlying metaphor." |
Justify
this movie's existence in the classic strand, by
theVoiceofReason's Veritable Cornucopia |
|
The
first movie is much better than the second as it is darker, a little less polished.
The
sheer terror of being the possible next victim of a serial killing got my juices
boiling so!
The
sheer horror of knowing that you cannot stop such a bully boy bandit, who is hunting
you down like a Moose, coming, as he indubitably does, from another time period
where this sort of thing is so common it does not even make the evening news.
Tis all scream-worthy in a 1950's B-movie type way - BE WARNED!. It
is a role made for dear Mr Schwartzenegger, a man who has become part of our culture
in a way only big muscley men can do. Whether Mr Rock could take Mr Terminator
is a debate upon which one can ramble on about for hours on end, to be stopped
only by closing time; but even then one feels that the debate could continue outside
on the pavement until opening time the next day! The
second movie has very good special effects and looks much more expensive, although
one doubts they would have bothered with it had the first one not scared the willies
out of us so. |
| Quotes
from unofficial sequel 'Nervous Terminator': |
|
I'll be back,
if that's OK with you. |
| What
snack should I avoid eating while watching this movie? |
| Liquid
metal snacks |
If
a character from this film were to be invited onto the Weakest Link, how would
the presenter insult the character? |
|
AR:
So, Mr Terminator, you got the last question wrong, did they teach you anything
at school or were you just stupid? Terminator:
I was just stupid. AR:
Are you visualizing me naked at the moment? Terminator:
No. AR:
Just checking. |
Would the scary bits make your cat jump out of your lap causing scratch marks?
Would your dog like it? |
|
This is a dog
movie - The Terminator is fantastically loyal without actually thinking about
anything in particular. Cats
will think the Terminator is dumb and know from experience that body builder owners
always forget to feed them and so may watch the movie tail in the air with bottom
clearly visible. Pet
mice could start to take up body building after watching this movie in a futile,
if not a little sweet, attempt to be like their hero. |
Other comments |
| The
first movie is very original. The second one is not as good, but the special effects
are fine and the interaction between the characters has some compensations. |