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The Passion of the Christ
Short plot summary

Apparent carpenters son, who is actually the son of God, is seen as a dangerous outcast so is tortured and then crucified on the whim of the mob, lead by Jews.

Rating

Red paint, both dripping and dried, on naked flesh warning. Moment of cat-o-nine-tails-in-flesh-ripping-horror. Viciousness to Messiahs throughout.

What our panel of critics thought

"So, they called Jesus, Yeshua, then? Why do we call him Jesus? It's facts like this that sneak up on me in films like this that really ruin it all for me. Why oh why oh why do we call him Jesus?"

"Please forgive me, I will put the shower on super hot in punishment for my sins later, but did I hear Jesus say "coont" just before they started the whipping? I'm sure it means something completely different in Hebrew but I am English and it sounded like coont to me. An absolute flipping disgrace. They should be ashamed of themselves."

"Did the Guard supervising the whipping says 'bitch' just before the cat-o-nine tails whipping bit stars [just after the whipping guy slams the business end of the whip on the table?] This is just not on."

"At the risk of being put on some sort of terrorism list, and I feel uneasy even mentioning this, but did anyone else notice how much like Osama Bin Ladan, Jesus, looks on what presumably was the Sermon on the Mount bit?"

"Had they taken out the slow motion bits this movie would have been half an hour shorter."

"I think I may have been desensitised by too many Tom and Jerry cartoons as a child. I wasn't all that shocked by this at all. In fact I was half expecting a frying pan on the head at any moment."

"I HATE SUBTITLES!"

"The bit when they have Jesus on the cross and they turn him upside down? That was one of the best laughs of the movie. I laughed until I cried in fact. Should I seek counselling or just hand myself into the nearest police station?"

"So, Jesus could pull a Robin Williams face then? Useful to know..."

Please tell me the ending or whole plot if necessary

Jesus is betrayed by Judas, who was paid by Jewish chiefs to turn him in to the Roman Guards.

On being arrested, Pontius Pilot doesn't really know what to do with his prisoner. Pilot sends Jesus to Herod for punishment, but Herod declines to do so.

So, Pilot sends Jesus to be punished on the understanding that he is not killed. However, those administering the whipping and cat-o-nine tailing go too far, they are visibly enjoying it and laugh at his suffering. This is all watched by the Jewish elders.

Fearing a riot, Pilot offers the crowd the opportunity to set Jesus or a mad looking murderer, Barabbas, free. Pilot is clearly surprised when the crowd, led again by the Jewish chiefs, call for Barabass' release.

Jesus is crucified, and God attacks those who attacked him. Jesus rises again.

Justify this movie's existence in the classic strand from theVoiceofReason.com's Veritable Cornucopia

A slow motion triumph of the philosophy and last 12 hours in the life of Jesus Christ (Yeshua).

It is a painful movie to watch and one which has little to make you feel good about. It's sort of like how one feels towards Schnindlers List, this movie is one to have watched as it is your duty as a person to see these things and grow from them, but this is not one you would probably choose to see regularly. It is a very hard movie to watch at times, in fact, which is undoubtedly the point.

Skilfully using flashbacks, Mel Gibson's movie gives us the gist of Jesus's philosophy and some of his teachings. This movie has become, and undoubtedly will continue to be, a movie that the Christian community uses as a way to emphasise what Jesus went through to expunge all 'our' sins. The Jews do come out of it badly though.

The movie is filmed in Hebrew.

Quotable quotes (real)
"I am the Way the Truth and the Life."
"Father forgive them"
"Into your hands I commend my spirit."
What snack should I eat while watching this movie?

Super chewy toffee which has a 25%+ chance that you will accidentally bite your tongue, or side of your mouth, while chewing it.

If I were to watch this on video/DVD how best should I sit?

In the able to get up to walk around and do something else during the really vicious bits position of frustration that anyone could do this to another human being - especially not to someone who has been developing a life changing, peaceful, philosophy of being good to each other...

Other comments

If you have ever seen a documentary or film on the life (death) and times of Jesus you really have seen all of this before. The difference is that this movie contains a completely vicious torturing of Jesus which many will have difficulty in watching, but emphasises, we suppose, how horrible they were to him.

Whilst obviously, as this is a movie, red paint is on the whip, then you see a cat o nine tails ripping into his flesh. Presumably this is CGI, very shocking, could he really survive all that? Surely he would have blacked out when hey put the nails in? Life experience to have seen it, don't want to see it again though, thank you very much Mel Gibson, sir.

The Jewish community objected to this movie on its release on the grounds that it makes them look like blood thirsty sneaky bastards. (The movie does make them look like that.)

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