Tag line
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| A
good man is hard to find: Seven of them is stretching credibility a bit too far.
Tale of honest men in corrupt/dopey world.
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Short plot
summary |
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A village are
fed up with being attacked by pillagers, so hire seven street brawler, knife throwing,
thug types from a local village to give their enemies hell. The poor villagers
have little money with which to pay the men, only $20 each, so they are appealing
to the men to do what is right. Classic
movie with a message. Stars: Yul Brenner, Eli Wallach, Steve McQueen, Charles
Bronson, Robert Vaughan, Brad Dexter, James Coburn. |
What our
panel of critics thought |
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"Oh
for that time in movie history when all you needed to shoot someone was to have
a revolver, a loud bang and some smoke and whoever was standing within 5 feet
would fall all dramatically to the floor..." "This
movie reminded me of that time at school when we were all told to go do something
nice for our neighbors. It all ended badly then too if memory serves, although
I don't remember the shooting bit." "A
triumph of good honest guys doing what is right. How dated this movie is now.
Are they all dead yet in real life?" "How
dippy those villagers are. As my grandmother once told me: Never help the weak,
they always stab you in the back in the end." "Charles
Bronson gets shot? A disgrace! I want my money back. Never to be seen without
a mustache again!" "Dir
dir, dee der dur da. Dur da, dee der do dar, dum dum der dar dee dar dar dar,
dum dum dum dum di dum dar darghhh.. I hate that darn theme music." |
Please
tell me the ending or plot overview if necessary
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| The
initial attack is repelled by the Seven, but the bad guys come back again. The
villagers have second thoughts about defending the village and decide to negotiate
with the bad guy's, betraying our heroes who have to negotiate for their lives. Robert
Vaughn and Charles Bronson both get killed, one leaves on hearing the villagers
have had second thoughts. After a final fight, Brenner and McQueen both survive. |
Justify
this movie's existence in the classic strand, by
theVoiceofReason's Veritable Cornucopia |
|
One of
those must see movies, unfortunately it has dated a little now. It is the
western remake of Seven Samurai, a movie I had to stop watching as I became explicably
depressed while watching it. (At least in this Westernized version, the villagers
aren't rolling about in the mud like their Japanese cousins, sticking bamboo shoots
up each other's bottoms!) The
movie serves as a reminder of human nature. Beware those cowardly types who always
strive for the easy way, changing their minds like the wind and really f-wording
the good guys over badly. One
point of critical annoyance is the Charles Bronson speech in which he defends
the cowardly fathers to their children who call them as they are. He is so wrong
it does not surprise when he is shot dead within the hour. Did he think he was
doing a good deed? Thankfully, he died soon after so we didn't have to suffer
any more of his ridiculous good guy philosophizing; a philosophical nature thankfully
soon replaced by a fetching mustache set to change the world of fashion in the
1970's forever. Anyway.
Once sat through you can always say you have seen this movie. |
Quotable
quotes
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| "It
seemed like a good idea at the time" |
What
snack should I eat while watching this movie? |
|
Steak and beans
and seven day old bread. |
Could
this film be improved with more slapping of the bitches? |
| This
would undoubtedly make the middle boring bit of this movie slightly more interesting.
A missed opportunity, although 10 out of 10 for political correctness in a 1960's
movie. |
Is
there enough licky love in this film? |
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None whatsoever.
The women are hidden away for most of the first half of the conflict, and then
busy themselves with washing and cooking, clothed to the eyebrows to stop any
prospect of titilation in these pre porn channel times. |
How
serious is this film? |
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This movie is
deeply dark. It is peppered with betrayal and bullets. Could give you indigestion
and a nasty squint. |
Suggest
marketing tie-in products based on this movie |
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Bullet
marked T-shirts Yul
Brenner bald wigs How
to walk like Charles Bronson exercise tapes Shooting
for profit - 6 part course, including 3 hour rifle range practice |
Does
this film stand up to rigorous reality testing?
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| The
strategy yes, but the shootings don't look very realistic. Lots of bangs, smoke
and people holding their bodies and falling to the ground shouting argh! Watch
out, also, for the orchestra which attempts to scare the willies out of you with
occasional loud burst of music in the quiet bits. |
Would
your house pets like this movie? |
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Dogs could very
well take the shooting scenes to heart and perform spectacular dead dog tricks
on hearing a loud bang for the next 7 weeks - walk behind the mutt at your peril. Cats
will see the ending coming a mile off and sit crossed legged tapping their paws
on the chair rests until the end. Horses
and antelope will find the movie very exciting. However, ensure they are able
to make a quick exit from your living room in the event of over excitement. |
Would
this movie put you off your origami? |
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This is not
a movie to have on when you are attempting to fold paper into intricate shapes
- the movie is very loud and bangy in places. |
How
much would you pay for a copy of this movie in goods. |
| A
cowboy hat with at least six bullet holes. |
Other
comments |
| OK,
the message is useful in life, but do you really have to sit through the movie
to get the message? Just
read this: "Never help the cowardly." Move on. |