Lawrence leads the Arabs to victory in Damascus.

"The camels are surprisingly wobbly when viewed from behind."

"From that opening music you know you are about to witness something special. However, inject your ass with something to stop it dropping off."

"The first half is wonderful then it gets a bit dreary. Still, lovely weather for it."

"The longest walk into shot in movie history? Bravo! Nobody puts one foot in front of the other like Omar Sharif."

"I hear that camels are very rude and spitty - how well behaved the camels were in this movie, were they on drugs?

"A wonderful drunken-afternoon dozing picture."

"It's pure unadulterated sunshine in this movie."

"That extra 35 minutes they rediscovered for the director's cut is worth every minute of it."

"I thought the Bedouin were the invisible people of the desert! Omar, you didn't move fast enough mate!"

"Answers the age old question... do camels shit in the desert? - it seems not. No wonder they are such pissy creatures, I hope I'm not around when they break wind."

"The enormity of the desert is what I was amazed by. That and the amount of ice cream I was able to eat at intermission. "

"There are no women in this movie, is this significant?"

"If I see me another wobbling camels butt it will be too soon."

"Well done, Lawrence, for a text book attempt to get someone out of a quick sand spot... shame it didn't work, but those the breaks."

"Peter O'Toole is perfectly cast as an English educated toff whose head has been muzzled by too much midday sun."

"I have never seen more sand in all my life, did it win an Oscar? I want my money back."

"I saw this film on television once and they scanned it for the small screen all wrong. I can't ever remember seeing Lawrence himself until the second half - lots of sand and sky though. Beautiful."

T.E. Lawrence is a maladjusted officer sent to Arabia.

When he gets there, his single mindedness impresses the locals, but makes the British suspect.

Lawrence, after gaining their trust, leads the Arabs to victory in Damascus and is subsequently seen as a hero.

He dies in a motorcycle crash in England.

"Absolutely peachy" ice cream using the authentic Bedouin method of eating with your right hand, or if you prefer use a spoon.

In the this-is-not-how-to-be-safe kinda way.

Sit sidesaddle on motor cycle with crash helmet loosely fastened to head.

Drive on wrong side of the road. If you see oncoming cyclists do not stop - ping yourself into the air as if an acrobat dismounting from a trampoline. Leave your fetching driving goggles on small branch.

Say: "Ooops awfully sorry dear boy," then walk with a limp to the nearest telephone box to call an ambulance.

No love interest whatsoever. Just a man and his camel which slurps noisily over every gob-full of thick mucus. Nothing romantic there at all.

Cats will enjoy the plot in the first half, but in the second half they may choose to play with a ball of wool or climb on furniture screeching at the tops of their voices.

Dogs are likeliest to chase the cats, barking at the top of their voices.

Horses find camels hysterically funny - they will not be able to stop laughing when watching this movie.

Yes. If you time it correctly you might be able to do it all in the mid movie lull.