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"Is
there anyone left who still thinks Oswald did it?" "OK
Oliver, you've had your say, why would they do it?" "I
love this movie so much I'm thinking of getting JFK tattooed on my ass." "General
X, you blabber mouth!" "A
conspiracy theorists orgasm, directioned perfectly into the handkerchief of evidence." "Tommy
Lee Jones will you please talk slower, I and the girls in the Home for
the Frequently Incapacitated, can hardly hear you, dear boy." "This
is Kevin Costner's finest hour. And that's just the summing up!" "That
Zapruder film still sends shivers down my spine." "Costner
is not a half bad actor, what with crying like that in court. Still, it's such
a shame about Waterworld." "Why,
if it wasn't that nice John Candy fellow playing a fat sneeky villain. Whyohwhyohwhy
was he typecast into all those fat men roles?" "Kevin
Bacon, you sexy lump of homo-hunk." "Is
that Roseanne's sister? Now a deputy DA? My, how well she has done for herself." "That
Sissy Spacek, I've steered away from her ever since those horrible scenes in Carrie
where she bled all over the place. Thankfully she didn't try to do the same thing
in this movie." "That
Walter Matthau was always such a sour-puss. If I was him, I'd pump myself full
of laughter juice and laugh all the way to the bank." "Wonderfully
sinister. A powerful argument from an influential director. Shame it didn't change
a damn thing." "Ever
since this movie I've been waiting to hear, on the news, of Oliver Stone's sudden,
violent, death. Hasn't happened yet, but I am sure when it comes, blood and giblets
will fly with gusto." "All
of Costner's films were shit after this movie - is this a conspiracy?" "OK
Ok Ok. So go through this slowly again: How don't you know Oswald wasn't behind
the fence in the front right?" "A
school book depository always sounded no good to me." "I
did an experiment with a bouncy head dog in my car, and if you shot the sucka
from behind I can confirm it went back and to the left. Has anyone else tried
proving this case this way? I think I'm on to something, only another month and
I can concentrate on this full time..." "Your
honor - I can explain it all with my magic penis theory." |