Oliver Stone's dramatization of Jim Garrison's investigation into the assassination of John F Kennedy.

"Is there anyone left who still thinks Oswald did it?"

"OK Oliver, you've had your say, why would they do it?"

"I love this movie so much I'm thinking of getting a JFK tattoo."

"General X, you blabber mouth!"

"A conspiracy theorists orgasm, directioned perfectly into the handkerchief of evidence."

"Tommy Lee Jones will you please talk slower, I and the girls in the Home for the Frequently Incapacitated, can hardly hear you, dear boy."

"This is Kevin Costner's finest hour. And that's just the summing up!"

"That Zapruder film still sends shivers down my spine."

"Why, if it wasn't that nice John Candy playing a fat sneeky villain. Whyohwhyohwhy was he typecast into all those fat men roles?"

"Is that Roseanne's sister? Now a deputy DA? My, how well she has done for herself."

"That Sissy Spacek, I've steered away from her ever since those horrible scenes in Carrie where she bled all over the place. Thankfully she didn't try to do the same thing in this movie."

"Ever since this movie I've been waiting to hear, on the news, of Oliver Stone's sudden, violent, death. Hasn't happened yet, but I am sure when it comes, blood and giblets will fly with gusto."

"All of Costner's films were bad after this movie - is this a conspiracy?"

"OK Ok Ok. So go through this slowly again: How don't you know Oswald wasn't behind the fence in the front right?"

"A school book depository always sounded no good to me."

Lee Harvey Oswald was a patsy.

President Kennedy was shot by marksmen who got him in a triangular position to ensure his death. The Zapruder film clearly shows his head going back to the left, which is not consistent with a shot from the back (ie from the School Book Depository where Oswald apparently was), but from the front right.

The reason for the assassination: It was a coup d'etat. The armaments industry is all powerful and Kennedy overstepped the mark by reducing the powers of the CIA and by cutting back on arms spending. One of the first things the incoming president did was reverse the laws Kennedy passed which inevitably, amongst other things, led to the Vietnam war.

"I've been sleeping for three years." Jim Garrison

Don't read this movie as an argument that all of the conspiracy arguments in it are true. It should be read as a discussion of all of the conspiracy arguments that there were back in the 1960s, the movie isn't saying they are true or false.

Elsewhere on the site: Conspiracy Nuggets: JFK Assassination