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| Indiana
Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark |
Studio executives summary / pitch
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| Classic Saturday matinee: Man with whip and hat saves antique from Nazi's with no sense of humor in round silver spectacles and hats. |
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Short plot
summary |
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Boy (Indiana Jones - Harrison Ford) returns to girl (Marion Ravenwood - Karen Allen) after 10 years. Girl punches boy on chin. Boy and girl get caught up in mystery involving the Ark of the Covenant. Boy and girl saved as Ark kills those nasty Nazi's. |
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What our
panel of critics thought |
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"A triumph of frying pan head bonking!" "If you have ever heard yourself saying something like: 'back in the good old days when men were real men and mules were real mules' etc... then this movie is for you. In this movie the bad guys look like real bad guys, the men look like real men, and the women can kick like a real mule." "Never have I been more annoyed by someone looking so sinister while looking over the top of a Life magazine. Oh, if only Life meant Playboy in German!" "You have to admire a German Nazi who is not afraid to go with the standard fetish dress code. A triumph of evil eyes, evil spectacles and a collar made out of the hardest rubber. BOING!" "I had a drinking contest like that once. I lost the drinking contest, but won the vomiting like a 3 month old baby competition afterwards. A triumph of vom-tertainment." "Is she the original medallion woman?" "My, Mr Jones, what a nice looking whip you have there." |
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What
snack should I eat while watching this movie?
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| Dates and whisky straight from the bottle. |
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Please
tell me the ending, or the whole plot if necessary |
| The Nazis are searching for the Ark of the Covenant. Indiana Jones is hired to find it first. He doesn't, the Nazi's do, but when they open it, a ghostly force destroys the naughty Germans. Our heroes survive because they manage to keep their eyes closed throughout. But it's a close run thing... phew! |
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Quotable
quotes (real) |
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"You can't do this to me, I'm an American." "I hate snakes!" "Why does the floor move?" |
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If
I were to watch this on video/DVD how best should I sit? |
| With a towel wrapped around your head and ears. |
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Is
there enough licky love in this film?
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| There is a nice romantic subplot between Jones and his ex-girlfriend. The violence between the two was particularly fist-striking; as soon as they meet up she gives him a full punch on the chin after being apart for 10 years. Later on, watch out for the classic 'swivel mirror upper cut to the chin' technique which has rarely been bettered in any movie since. |
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How funny is this film? |
| It is a perfectly formed, light hearted, matinee effort. Jokes pepper the action throughout. One of the best comedy-action moments is when, in the market, when a guy pulls out a big sword and swivel it around his head, Indiana Jones takes out a gun and shoots him. |
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Suggest
marketing tie-in products based on this movie |
| Indiana Jones flavored ice cream sex balm. Indiana Jones Snake Money Box. Indiana Jones Snake alarm clock - it hisses you awake every morning, action hero dude! |
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Does this film stand up
to rigorous reality testing? |
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Unfortunately this movie is full of extreme cartoon fighting and unlikely settings. It's all a very 2D effort but a pleasant enough waste of a couple of hours. |
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Are
there enough snakes in this movie? |
| Snakes are the main plot point our hero has to overcome. He does this in spite of a few wimps and moans. If no snakes were hurt during the making of this movie, we want our money back. |
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Would
the scary bits make your cat jump out of your lap causing scratch marks? Would
your dog like it? Other pets?
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| Cats will particularly enjoy the clothes basket chase and may attempt to build a nest in your clothes basket if you have a similar one in your home. Your dog can remember how stroppy you got when he was a puppy when he knocked over the clothes basket and may look to you whimpering in a 'why can't I do that Dad?' kind of way. Rabbits will hide whenever snakes are on the screen, but will have a lasting empathy with Harrison Ford following this movie, until the rabbit stew scene in Witness. |
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How much would you pay
for a copy of this movie in goods? |
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A
small plastic somersaulting toy monkey with squeezy buttons to make him swing. |
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Would
this movie win awards for performances of the f-word? |
| No bad language of particular note, although in reality the mirror upper cut trick would have deserved it. |
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Does the film attempt technobabble?
If so does this succeed? |
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Yes, a technobabble triumph! When discussing how the ark is activated there are moments of extreme chalk on blackboards. Thankfully there is no chalk squeak, although the diagram looks suitably impressive. |
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Other
comments |
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Released in 1981, this movie is a World War Two time piece so is ageless. It is a classic Saturday morning matinee effort for the kids, but adults will enjoy the ride. It spawned a series of sequels. It is probably Harrison Ford's popular career high point to date. |
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