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Chicago
Studio executives summary / pitch
We got Richard Gere singing and pulling his boxer shorts off in a number. Can't fail.
Rating

Contains moments of long, staring, camera shots at fit women's crotches during bendy backwards moves which allow you to look right up the naughties, saved only by tight fitting clothing. Women on men violence. Richard Gere pulls his boxer shorts off. Singing and dancing advisory throughout.

Short plot summary

Plain gal who wants to be a star - Roxie Hart (Renée Zellweger) - shoots her lyin cheatin lover and is sent to gaol to be hanged. While in prison, she meets her wanna-be Velma Kelly (Catherine Zeta-Jones), also caught murdering her man.

Our hero, Roxie, is to be hanged by the neck until she can sing no more. Unless. Unless, no, it seems improbable. If only Billy Flynn (Richard Gere), the best lawyer $5000 can buy, can get her off.

What our panel of critics thought

"A triumph of musicalness. My toes tapped throughout."

"At last a movie Richard Gere fans can recommend without fear of being laughed at openly and at length."

"A truly wonderful movie, but whenever I see Catherine Zeta in this movie all I can think of is her performing it, pregnant, at the Oscars. I wince whenever I see her do any back bends."

"Made me want to light up a cigarette."

"Nobody can wear a 1920's floppy cap better than Richard Gere."

"Richard Gere is maturing like a fine wine. After many a year of crushing grapes bare footedly, he comes up with this masterpiece!"

Please tell me the ending

Billy Flynn manages to manipulate the media to such an extent that Roxie gets off and is freed, along with Velma.

Velma and Roxie team up and star together in a musically guaranteed weepy ending.

Justify this movie's existence in the classic strand. From theVoiceof Reason.com's Veritable Cornucopia

A triumph of movieisation. This movie is a stunning masterpiece of complex camera workage. Of deft inter cutting betwixt reality and musical tap dancing dreamery.

Oh! what a wonderful world! This is a world of our dreams on the big screen. Of highly colored backdrops with athletic dancy back-flippage and hairstyles of such exactness the strongest industrial grade hair conditioners were employed, no doubt.

That Richard Gere can both dance and sing (is that really his voice?, are those really his tap dancing toes?) is a moment of eurekaness we have been waiting for since that seminal moment of shirt offedness in Officer and a Gentleman. Our Richard shines, and, for me, was the highlight of this movie. At last! At long last, us Richard Gere fans can point to a movie which is great and say: "Our boy did good in that", without fear of towel flickage in the shower room afterwards.

Catherine Zeta Jones is also inspirational. Renée Zelweiger excels in her 'every plain woman on the big screen' kinda way. A great movie, don't miss it, a wonderful satire on the media and women on men violence.

Quotable quotes (real)

"You are a disloyal husband."

"Some guys just can't hold their arsenic."

What snack should I eat while watching this movie?

Prison stew served on a tin tray and bangy cutlery for those moments of pre riot protest.

If I were to watch this at home how best should I sit?

In the slumped as if just shot in the stomach position.

Could this movie be improved with more deep singing?

Thankfully Richard Gere does not attempt a deep voice in the classic Operatic type styling of musicals in the 1950's (see Calamity Jane).

John C. Reilly (Amos Hart - Roxie's husband) also sings in mid range, a relief.

Is there enough sexy thigh slapping in this film?

Yes, plenty. This is a very hetero-sexy movie with lots of strong women in sexy lingerie-type dancing clothes, beating up their men.

How satirical is this film?

This musical takes a well aimed shot at the media and how it can be manipulated to get guilty as sin people off the hook. A long running musical triumph brought to the big screen.

What can I take from this movie to make me a better person?

If there is ever a tap dancing lawyer on offer to mount your defense it is a no brainer to hire him.

Would your pets enjoy this movie?

Dogs like any man who can tap dance in a vest.

Cats are not impressed by men who can tap dance unless they can jump off high walls and land on their feet without whining about it afterwards.

Ducks and Geese are great Richard Gere fans and will quack excitedly even though he keeps his shirt on throughout the movie (however, during the cheeky boxer shorts removal number, blocked only by scantily clad dancers, expect honking and double-take looks throughout).

Estimate the number of minutes of pop-sado-masochism in this movie.

21

How much would you pay for a copy of this movie in goods?

A padded jock strap and earrings set.

Would this movie win awards for prison cooking?

A missed opportunity for those of us who like nothing better than to see dumplings and brown ooze being served with ladles in prison dramas of the 1920's.

Other comments

A wonderful movie, perhaps still too young to be appreciated as a classic, but, over time, could well be. The performances are all superb, the music excellent, the dance sequences rarely bettered.

Fully deserving of the adulation heaped on it on its release. At times it is truly open mouth-stunning.

Date of review

August 17 , 2003

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