Lester Burnham (Kevin Spacey) is our hero - he is talking us through his mid life crisis...

Ricky Fitts (Wes Bentley) moves in next door with ma and pa, films girl (Jane Burnham (Thora Birch), Lester's daughter). Jane falls in love with Ricky who has a weird strength about him. She apparently asks him to murder her father at the beginning of the movie, thus setting up the tension for later on. Welcome to this happy world of disfunctionality...

"Oh! My!! God!!! How those red rose petals telegraphed that old devil called love!!! !t's enough to make a g!rl get out her old prun!ng sheers. Magn!f!co!!!!"

"A truly inspirational satire of American life. Nothing is as it appears until the end when everything disappears. If this movie was any more cynical it could sneer itself to death."

"Rarely has there been such an actor as Kevin Spacey - an actor prepared to exhibit self love in all of its messy positions and yet never show off his willy once."

"A great film to watch once, but second time around who gives a f-word? (Unless you have the memory disorder of the mother of course - cruel but true!)"

"A cool movie, but not one to watch with the un-rude."

"Bravisimo! Never, in movie mayhem history, have I ever seen a peeping Tom fall in love and set to marry his prey and yet he is not the reason for the blood bath at the end. Formulaic Hollywood movie shit: choke on my shorts."

Note: this will ruin the movie if you have not seen it...

Colonel Fitts sees what be believes is his son, Ricky, giving Lester Burnham a blow job. Ricky is in fact rolling a joint but the window through which this is seen is not big enough. When confronted with this fact, Ricky tells his father that he is gay.

The Colonel confronts Lester and a misunderstanding occurs (the Colonel is talking about the love that dare not speak its name and Lester is talking about the smoke that you dare not speak of). Colonel Fitts kisses Lester. Lester politely rejects the Colonel pointing out the misunderstanding. The Colonel then shoots Lester.

Oh, Rose petals of our collective love juices beholden my appreciation for this mini-masterpiece (even if it is of only one time watch-age). A truly mesmerizing tease, of who's gonna do what and when to dear old Lester, Kevin Spacey's triumphant middle aged victim of crisis.

Tis that moment of middle aged crisis when one suddenly comes to terms with a choice:

1) Keep on doing what you have always done - quiet desperation is how most people live, or

2) Blackmail your boss for $60,000 and take a job in a burger bar

... it's your choice.

Thankfully, our hero chooses the latter choice, or else the movie would have been much the poorer for it.

A borderline classic, as on second viewing the tension evaporates as if down the plug hole of a bath. However there are some pleasing moments, and perhaps a lesson or two for the masses in their incredibly boring jobs... Jump! I tell you!

A fine, nutritious meal with three veg, each placed on the dining table in their own dish - a bit like how the Walton's, or any family of the 1950's, used to eat - eat quickly or the food gets cold...

In the classic in-bed slump - head up on pillow, body horizontal with feet pointing outwards so that you can see the screen through your feet.

There are two moments of on-screen masturbation. This sticky taboo-ish subject matter, however, is handled by a pro. Not a pro at masturbation our lawyers would like us to point out, a pro actor of course.

Tremendously philosophical, both spiritually and economically. The moment with the plastic bag in the wind is an inspiration - Ricky tells of a feeling in which he believes he will always be safe no matter what... Economically: Lester throws in his job and life seems to get better, even if it ends in his violent death at the end.

Dogs can't see the point of an office job anyway so would much prefer to walk.

Cats like the idea of working in a drive through burger bar, believing they could provide a much better value added service by jumping with the food deftly into the car.

Ducks and other water based birds like asparagus and could choose the asparagus throwing scene as one of their all time favorites.

Even weird drug dealer types can have a wholesome positive life philosophy

6 minutes.

A fine dining set.

This is a particular criticism of this movie. There is no nakedness which isn't covered up in rose petals or the moments of masturbation mayhem is only either half seen (in the shower) or spoken about (in bed). A few more gratuitous moments of porn (or at least of juices pinging through the air) could help an otherwise flawless piece.

One of those strange movies which pulls you in. Originally we saw this movie not expecting much (but noting it had won many awards). We were very impressed and thoroughly enjoyed it.

The problem with this movie is that once you have seen it (in a similar way to Sixth Sense after you have watched that back the second time just to check it) all the mystery has gone so really make an effort the first time around as that is the best time.

January 20th 2003.