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2001: A Space Odyssey
Short plot summary

Ape invents a use for the bone which, inevitably, leads on to the invention of space travel. Hal, a mad computer, controls a space ship but goes stupid after singing 'Daisy' as humans attempt to take control again. Life is discovered on the moon. Or is it? You decide. (It could depend on when you walk out on the movie.)

What our panel of critics thought

"An excellent movie to watch down the gym."

"Oh that naughty Mr Mel Brooks who parodied the apes at the start of this movie. I can no longer watch this piece without screaming outrageously and pulling at my own tally-whacker, and also of my husband's, in a mock ape movement banned even by those liberals at porn.com."

"It took me about 20 times to sit through this movie all the way through. I lost the whole point of living more than once. Nothing happens! Then I saw it all the way through and thought: F-word, what a f-wording great movie. Don't ask me what it all means though. Just watch the movie like a beautiful picture and just let it pull you in. Shame that my older brother Vinnie was locked up so successfully by the drugs police soon after, great shit dude."

"This movie never made any sense until Stanley Kubrick died, then I got it. Not half bad at all me old chum!"

"All I'm saying is, that Elvis should have been in this movie: 'Also spracht zarathustra' shit and all."

"Not many belly laughs."

"This movie reminded me of the classic water-fest Free Willy - I can't remember why."

"It goes on a bit but then I suppose the 60's did if you weren't high."

"Weightless eating in space, now there's a subject you don't get much humor about these days. I bet this is because Carson sucked all the funny juice out of it way back, craping once again on today's comedians who are running out of new things to take the piss out of."

"Oh the Blue Danube that tortuous waltz made popular once more."

"Red colored seats in long white corridors. Making a video call to your kid, costing $1.70... you know, it could happen."

"If space travel is this boring then count me out - I would much prefer the splendid timeliness of airplanes taking me swiftly from state to state." 1967.

"Hal do you do impressions? I bet you could do an excellent Richard Nixon."

"Movie analysis students the world over have broken their writing implements many a time whilst attempting to write down all of the meanings in this movie quickly before they forget them. I have no doubt that some of the meanings are correct, but, hell, which ones?"

"The eerie music scared the willies out of me not once but thrice!"

Studio executives summary / pitch
Pre Discovery Channel human-planet-ey thing, something about a, come to think of it, not sure ... sorry sir...
Please tell me the ending

The movie stops, but there is no ending in sight. This movie is more of a ride rather than offering a destination or answers to life...

Justify this movie's existence in the classic strand from Classic Movie Watch's Mr "Cornucopia"

A transcendental cornucopia of veritable non-linearity. Albeit conscious of the underlying metaphor of exerstentialistic wobbliness, the wonderful multicolored big brotherness of the eye towards the end had me begging for more in a small whiny voice which demanded more than it knew would ever have delivered.

A rapscallion of a movie sucking away the Freudian scantily claddedness of the underlying pretext, or subtext, or next text even, for, we never really know where we are. Some lesser mortals watching this wondrous voyage give up, begging a plot. There is, of course, no plot in the Schwartzenegger sense, but it is this challenge to the plot gene which renders the outing a triumph of differentness.

Quotable quotes (real)

"Daisy daisy give me your answer doooooooooooo."

"Do you read me Hal?"

If I were to watch this on video/DVD how best should I sit?

Position number 2156 from the Karma Sutra (without a partner.)

Is there enough lickey love in this film?

Only ape on ape love interest at the beginning (and then only of the self love type) - or was that in another movie...? see, Mr Mel Brooks, those terrible seeds you sew...

Would the scary bits make your cat jump out of your lap causing scratch marks?

No family pet member could possibly do more than nap with varying levels of noisiness. Perhaps your dog will snore the loudest, however, your cat might surprise you with a deep throaty wheeze...

This movie could provide you with your best chance yet to watch your canary sleeping - after all those years wondering what it looks like...

Other comments

A gorgeous rumble in the veritable space jungle of newness....

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