Satire Archive 2005

December 2005... We came up with some Christmas Gift ideas, had an exclusive on Santa Claus and noticed a film called King Kong was released... This is how we reported it...

Top Ten Euphemisms For Torture

'King Kong Ping-Pong' - Movie Tie-in Game - Launches Today

Performances of 'Ding Dong Merrily On High' Carol Put On 'Gloria' Alert

Santa Claus Held, Revealed To Have Middle Eastern Connections

Last Minute Christmas Gift Ideas: The Texas Soap Box Depository

Last Minute Christmas Gift Ideas: The Hide The TV-Remote Kit®™

Last Minute Christmas Gift Ideas: The Oompa Loompa Joompa

The Real George W Bush Holiday Season Reading List

Top Ten Hangover Cures That Really Work


November 2005... George Bush continues to slide in the opinion polls, riots erupt in France. The trial of Saddam begins and is adjourned. In entertainment, Christina Aguilera gets married... This is how reported it all...

Christina Aguilera Almost Marries Batman

Department Store 'Mannequin Rape' Hits All Time High

Eat And Drink Special: Tips For The Ultimate French Riot Dinner Party

White House: 'President Did Not Consider Nominating Ranch Hand To Supreme Court'

Intelligent Design vs Evolution (Holiday Season Conversation Ideas For The Family)

Ten Worst Job Interview Questions In The World

Top Ten Porn Movies Based On The Latest Movie Blockbusters

Top Ten Things To Do With Leftover Turkey

Harriet, the 175 Year Old Tortoise, Wins Vegetable Magazine's Man Of The Year


October 2005... Hurricane Season 2005 continues to cause havoc with Wilma the latest (and thankfully the last of the season). In other news, Tom Cruise is to become father, it's Halloween season and Bird flu is the panic of the moment. This is how we reported it...

Who Pulled Britney's Bra Off?

EXCLUSIVE: New Diet Starts Today: The Eat Only Stuff The Size Of Your Fist Diet

World Halloween Trick or Treat Forecast (Scarecast)

Is Mystery Hollywood 'Bra Snapper' About To Be Unmasked?

'Hurricane Wilma Is Sure Making My Bedrock', Reporting Live From The Scene

World Iron Man Championship To Add 'Chickens Stuffed Down Trousers' Stage


Authors of Book Charting History of Refco To Remove Chapter 11 As 'Sign of Respect'

Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Another Apology

Top Ten Things To Do With A Scratched Apple Nano iPod


September 2005... Hurricane Season 2005 is one of the worst ever for the USA with Hurricane Rita threatening the Gulf of Mexico again, thankfully not delivering what it could have. But the fallout from Hurricane Katrina sees the sacking of the head of FEMA. In lighter news, Britney Spears had a baby boy, Kate Moss was spotted apparently taking cocaine, and the head of FEMA was replaced. This is how we reported the month...

Britney Spears To Name Baby Boy 'Billy Joe Jim Bob'?

Poetry Special: Our Poets Are Inspired By Dick Cheney's Knees

FEMA Orders Arrest Of Rita Rudner

Condoleeza Rice's Reply to George Bush's Bathroom Break Note Found

George Bush To Interrogate Self Over Hurricane Katrina Response

Kate Moss Latest: Banks To 'Remain Loyal'

And The Nominations For The Next Head Of FEMA Are...

Top Ten Reasons VHS is Still Better Than DVD

German Election: Hung Bundestag To Be Controlled By 'Unsociable Democratic Party'?

New TV Series: World War Two At Four Times Normal Speed


August 2005 will forever be remembered as the month in which Hurricane Katrina destroyed New Orleans. Clearly, at this time we couldn't think of any jokes about that... so we joked instead about... Sean Combs who announces his fourth professional name change this time to Diddy, a tenth planet is discovered further out than Pluto, Dukes of Hazzard, the movie, reaches cinemas around the world, Emenem pulls out of his European tour and is then admitted to hospital, John Bolton is appointed by president Bush as ambassador to the UN and ...

Results To Our 2005 'What Shall We Call Sean Combs This Time' Competition

Librarians In Uproar Over Sean Combs' Latest Name Change To Diddy

Music Industry To Introduce Aggressive, Smoking-Like, Warnings Against Copying Part 1 and Part 2

Hurricane Katrina Downgraded To Katie

Cliff Claven
John Bolton

President Bush Appoints Cliff Claven As US Ambassador To United Nations

Fox To Air 'Playing It Gay', New Reality Show

Eminem Cancels European Tour: Read His Sick Note Here

Student Discovers Einstein's Forgotten Shopping List

Unofficial Daisy Duke Fan Club To Sponsor 'Big Boobies War' Contest


In July 2005 it was a horrible month for Londoners with the worst terrorist atrocity since the Second World War, we mostly steered clear of that story for obvious reasons. Elsewhere in the news, Bob Geldof's Live 8 concert to raise awareness of poverty in Africa and put additional pressure on the G8 leaders (meeting in Scotland) was a sensational success. The next book in the Harry Potter series hit the bookshelves, and the new Charlie and the Chocolate factory opened in cinemas worldwide. This is how we reported it...

Would You Put Your Full Home Address On werenotafraid.com?

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: JK Rowling's Character Notes Discovered

Get Your George W Bush G8 'Uhm's' Souvenir Audio File Here

Flatulence Filled Cell Phone Ring Tone Popular With Under 10's

Chocoholics Anonymous Condemn Charlie and Chocolate Factory Movie

Cell Phone Technology Latest: Introducing In-Message™ Audio

World's Most Annoying MP3 Comedy Ring Tones FREE!


In June 2005, Maria Sharapova sets a new world grunting volume record at Wimbledon, Deep Throat (the famous Watergate informer) is named, Michael Jackson is acquitted of child abuse charges after the jury takes 6 days to reach a verdict and Russell Crowe is arrested for an incident in a hotel with a phone... This is how we reported it...

So, Mark Felt Was Deep Throat. Search Goes On For Identity of Other 70's Informers

'Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini' Now So Small It Can't Be Seen

Russell Crowe Defended By Telephone Sex Lovers

Michael Jackson Jury Told: 'Stop Building Up Your Role In Inevitable Movie'

Michael Jackson's New Top Ten 'Don't Do It Again' List

Alcohol Fueled Beach Games Number One, Two, Three, Four and Five

HOT STORY OF THE MONTH: Maria Sharapova 'Scream' Cell Phone Ring Tone Now Available

In May 2005, Laura Bush made a strange public speech in which see seemed to be auditioning for Saturday Night Live, George Lucas released Revenge of the Sith, pictures of Saddam Hussein in his underpants circulated, Newsweek got a story wrong and was forced to retract it, George W Bush went on tour in Europe and Paris Hilton got engaged to a guy named Paris... you couldn't make that up, but we made the stuff below up anyway...

Internet In Midst Of Comedy Terrorism Hack-Attack

Top Ten Things Thrown At George W Bush During His Current European Tour

The Laura Bush Joke Book Collection

Revenge of the Sith - Our First Pre-Watch Critical Review (including alleged spoilers)

United Nation's To Back Plans To Make 'April Fools Day' A Whole Month in 2006

More Newsweek Retractions and Apologies

Darth Vader In His Underpants

The World's Least Sexy Vegetables Revealed (with Pictures)

Paris Hilton Engaged To Paris Latsis, Our News Imagineers Tell Us What To Expect

In April 2005, Pope John Paul II, one of the longest ever serving Pope's, died. Britney Spears revealed she was pregnant, after considerable speculation. And the release of one of the most anticipated movies of recent times, Star Wars 3, Revenge of the Sith, is only a couple of weeks away...

Catholic Churches Don't Have Enough Room if Everyone Wants to Turn Up

Britney IS Pregnant - Get Your Britney Spears Preg-Pillow™ Here

Selecting A New Pope: News Agency Makes Cardinal Into Illegal Pirate Radio Station

Revenge of The Sith Error: Apology For Transposition of The Letter h

Revenge of The Sith Merchandising Special: The Official Popcorn Holder

Buy Your Pirate Copy of Revenge of The Sith* Here!

Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy Special: Enter Our Vogon Poetry Competition


Is Britney Pregnant or Is She Just Wearing the new Britney Preg-Pillow™?

Top Ten DVD Easter Eggs They Lied To Us About On The Internet

Top Ten Funniest 'Pet Named Lucky' Stories We Could Make Up

Condoleeza Rice Wishes She Hadn't Asked For Cricket Explanation

First Details Of New Peter Pan Book Revealed

Search Is On To Find Ultimate Air Rock Band

Did Bush Snr and Clinton Sleep in 'Only Bed' Together On Tsunami Tour?

Terrorists Plan To Reveal World's Funniest Joke On Radio Stations Friday


Game of Hokey Pokey Gives Middle East Best Hopes For Peace Yet

Michael Jackson's Condition Improves To 'Very Very Iffy'

New Book Reopens Controversy Over Final Resting Place of One of Hitler's Testicles

Super Bowl 39: Paul McCartney's Wardrobe Security Revealed

The World's Funniest Valentine Cards Revealed - Number 1 2 3 4

Free Nude Pictures Of Naked Women and Just-Legal Girls

"Man Bites Dog": How Headlines Have Changed Over 60 Years

George W Bush Hosts G1 Conference

Top Ten Oscar Awards We'd Like To See