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'My Hair Isn't Urine Colored'
Says Donald Trump

Donald trump Jar of urine
Jar Of Urine
Donald Trump

Donald Trump angrily criticised after we claimed he had 'piss colored hair' today in one of the most fraught press conferences of modern times.

Trump, 76, who clearly hasn't realised we are a fake news organisation yet, answered our questions to the chagrin of our competition at CNNion who were refused a question as they are now officially a fake news organisation.

This followed the release of a report in which it was alleged that the president-elect took part in a sex act which included prostitutes, some as old as 26, weeing on each other, apparently known as a golden shower in government reports. The alleged event happened in the same hotel room stayed in by the Obama's during their stay in Moscow, according to the report.

Looking for evidence to substantiate this report helpfully suggested that Donald Trump's hair color was the smoking gun.

We obtained our own a report from an ex M16 hair coloring expert who, when we told him what we were looking for, helpfully confirmed in a 20 page report, that Donald Trump's hair color is a browny yellow, which is substantially the same color as urine.

Donald Trump's team have angrily criticised our findings and maintain that his hair colour is a yellowy brown.

But notwithstanding the denial, the question remains does Donald Trump choose his hair colour or does it go that color because someone is regularly pissing on his head? This is the question that now needs to be answered. There was no reply when we asked this question of the transition team on Wednesday morning.

This newspaper stands by its assertion than Donald Trump's hair is irrefutably and without a shadow of a doubt piss colored. However, from the information we currently have we are unable to report how his hair got that color.

The damning image evidence, above, was gathered with a five minutes click and search on Google images and did not use ex British Intelligence information in its report.

The transition team Tweeted afterwards to confirm their position: "Donald's hair is beautiful. It is a bright yellowy brown, urine is quite clearly a browny yellow."

The editor of has gone into hiding after asking his neighbour to look after his cat. He doesn't even own a cat.

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