14 March 2013
The home of world comedy spoof entertainment +++ Perfect Pope

Joy As Old Guy Becomes Pope - Seven Inches Of News™

Conclave Concludes

Vatican, Italy: Hello, you join me amongst the throng here in St Peter's Square, for today's Seven Inches Of News ™.

Had the crowd not already been on their feet, they would have been straight up and on their feet this evening, clapping and cheering with all their hands and mouths, as a new Pope was revealed at ten minutes past the hour.

Many in the crowd had waited patiently for many hours for the black smoke from the Sistine Chapel to turn white, signaling that a new Pope had been chosen, quickly followed by the formal announcement that the conclave of Cardinals had decided on a new old guy, announced by an even older guy in red who looked like he had hurt his neck.

The crowd, which included people, some as young as 6, cheered and cried and plunked their feet in celebration as the new Pope, Francis I, stood right in front of them half a mile away. Many in the crowd agreed with this reporter that they were surprised that he was only the first Francis in all these years - we all thought there would have been many more Francis's by now.

Now back to the news desk for the last three inches of news:

NRA member eventually saves Obama look-a-like in apparent dramatic river drowning rescue

Michelle Obama continues to looks great in a posh dress

In overseas news: Xi Jinping is president of China

In business: The Dow was up a little at the close. The Washington budget deal update: here's a picture of a smiling face...

Smiling face - public domain art

"Your world as it breaks, 7 inches at a time."

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