Jan 16, 2011
The home of world comedy spoof entertainment +++ Republican Super Power

Newt Gingrich: If You Could Choose A Non Copyrighted Superpower What Would It Be, And Why?

Super Newt

We asked the remaining Republican Party presidential candidates what non copyrighted superpower they would like to have, and why.

Today's guest is Newt Gingrich, born Newton Leroy McPherson, former Speaker of the House of Representatives, he recently staged an impressive recovery in the polls, but will it last?

Newt Gingrich

Mr Gingrich, welcome to


Thank you so much for having me! Wooo weee, let's go!

My copyright free super power that I would most like to have is the ability not to have to sleep...

I understand that the problem (my Kryptonite as it were) with this super power is that for about 3-4 hours a day I will have to walk around like a zombie, arms out front, moaning gibberish, but that is OK because I can hide away at those times while everyone sleeps.

In fact this zombie downtime will be a valuable opportunity to write speeches, answer emails, think up new insults to hurl at Mitt Romney which I can then text to the girlfriend of a guy on a super PAC that likes me, post to twitter and some such.

I might also get time to work on my catchy Presidential run campaign slogan. I'm thinking of something along the lines of 'I Like Ike', but so far I haven't come up with anything that stands out much:

Newt's Not Mute

All New Newt

I will spend the copious amounts of sleepless uptime by reading really boring books, doing my hair, and working on looking pleased to be here.

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