Sept 12, 2011
The home of world comedy spoof entertainment +++ Record Rebate

Survey: Top Ten Things Record Store Staff Do While They Wait For Customers These Days

Record Store Blues

What do record store staff do these days, what with all the online options and whatnot?

Record Store

Run a part time tattoo parlor in the room behind the sales tills

Pierce each other / have piercing gun fights with each other

Openly criticize the fashion sense of the losers who still buy cds in shops on the high street these days.
Complete online surveys for extra cash
Get friends to run mock raids on the shop so they can get Gary, the hunky security guard, to work up a sweat so he needs to take his shirt off and have a shower.

Chat about what they did / didn't do / would like to have done, last night with Gary the hunky security guard - drawing diagrams / photoshopping images to take into the room behind the tills for some personal one-on-one touching time.

Look blankly ahead as if Elvis Presley/ Amy Winehouse / Kurt Cobain has come back and you are having a one-on-one mind conversation with them.
Refuse to serve a customer because you made up a claim they were racially abusive to you / looked at you in the wrong way / have the wrong brand of credit card.
Claim the card reader is down so you can't put the sale through but have you heard of amazon? Write the url on a piece of paper and give it to them.
Rip mp3s of all the cds in the shop and put them up for free online because you are being laid off next week.

This exclusive survey was of 10,000 record store staff carried out 18th August - 1st September 2011.

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