Sept 7, 2011
The home of world comedy spoof entertainment +++ Autobiography Update

Dick Cheney: The Jokes From 'In My Time'

Cheney Smoking continues it's serialization of former VP Dick Cheney's autobiography 'In My Time.'

Today we go back to 1967, back to when he was setting out as a stand up comedian in the New York comedy clubs of the time...

Dick Cheney Growling

In My Time by Dick Cheney

Chapter 15 The Comedy Club Hours

I was deeply, deeply influenced by Woody Allen, profoundly. I would sit up nights studying, studying to remember the jokes and make sure I got them in the right order, which was important to me.

I tried out and the director of the club called me over and said, 'Kid, you're really angry, and that's good, but you seem to be growling a lot. That could be good, but it could be something you should look at, if you know what I mean.'

I took his criticism on the chin, as always, and decided he was wrong.

I have searched my personal archives and have found a tape of the last five minutes of one of my performances. Yes, it's raw, but as I'm sure they still say, that's show business.


[Transcript taken from the security tape of the New Comedy Club, New York City, 5th October 1967]


Dicky Cheney: "My luck is getting worse and worse, terrible luck. Uhm. Last night, for example, I was mugged by a Quaker. Grrr."

[Ambiguous - Member of audience shouts something]

DC: "Yeah, your mother too buddy."

"I don't think my parents liked me. No no no. Didn't like me one little bit. Not a tintsy wintsy bit. Noo no no. Do you know what? Grrr. They put a live teddy bear in my crib. Grrr."

[Ambiguous - Member of audience shouts something]

DC: "That's mine now buddy. No, I'm keeping it."

DC: "I have bad reflexes. Really bad. Oh, yeah. I got it because of my heart condition, probably, Grrr. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys. Yeah, Grrr... My name's Dicky Cheney. You've been great, apart from you over there. Thank you and good night. Grrr."

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