theVoiceofReason.com
June 15, 2011
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World Voices: Tom Cruise, 5ft 7in, Is To Play Jack Reacher Who's Supposed To Be 6ft 5in. Huh?

Cruise Control

The author of the Jack Reacher novels, Lee Child, has defended the decision that Tom Cruise, 5ft 7in, is to play badass Jack Reacher who's 6ft 5in, with a 50 inch chest.

Is it just the movies, or is there something sinister a'foot?

Don't be shy...

Concerned Citizen

Jason Bourne, North Sea

"Hmm. I do hope Tom Cruise likes jumping up and down a lot."

   
Shocked Man
Miles Melly, Heaven, Cincinnati

"I heard Tom Cruise was trying to gain 150 pounds so that he can play Luciano Pavarotti. Surely he can't do both movies at the same time?"

   
Muscleman

Ben 'Macho Man' Pudding, Ohio, Italy

"Don't talk to me about Tom Cruise. He broke my heart in Cocktail. I haven't been able to watch any of his movies since."

   
Old Gipper
Bruce Forceps, London, England

"As a fellow Scientologist I am pleased he is getting the work. We need all the money we can get to build our silent orphanage in Romania."

   
Ape Man

Joe Wolfman, Sheesh, California

"With Mission Impossible 4 on the way, and a possible 15 Jack Reaper movies of the novels already written, I would say one day we might even forget that Oprah sofa incident entirely."

   

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