Feb 15, 2011
The home of world comedy spoof entertainment +++ Golf Gob

Tiger Woods Gets A Fine For Spitting On Dubai Golf Course, This Commentator Decides To Take A Stand

Dubious Dubai

DUBAI, UAE: So, Tiger Woods gets fined an undisclosed amount for evacuating spittle from his mouth on a golf course, by a court, here in Dubai?

Let that be a warning to all sports players looking to come to this ever increasingly popular, beautiful, man made, and, yet, at times, increasingly, overly zealous (law breaking wise) island state.

Let me ask you: When was the last time you watched sport and nobody spat?

Today in most, if not all Western nations, spitting, be it in the bucket of the embattled boxer who has just walked back to his corner bebloodied and besweated, or onto the grass of, say, a football pitch, is perfectly acceptable at all levels of sport from kindergarten to the professional elite.

Hello. You join me standing in the exact place where Tiger Woods spat just seven days earlier.

Sure, today the television cameras are long gone, and the crowds a distant memory.

It is late afternoon. Time for golfing is almost at an end. There are one or two people making their way back to the clubhouse for after-tee refreshments. The weather is comfortingly very warm, offering a feeling of overwhelming security.

I am unzipping my fly with the intention of urinating the remains of the lunchtime iced tea in my bladder in the exact spot Tiger came to be-gobbed grief just days earlier.

I stream left to right, two or three times.

Mhhh Hmmmm that's good.

I look around, and what do I see?

Yes, folks, just as I expected.

No flashing lights.

No nattily attired be-headdressed Dubai policemen running to grab my arm.

Absolutely nothing.

I will, of course, make discrete enquiries on my way out to check if anything has been reported at the reception desk, but this commentator feels confident he has gotten away with it.

This is Doug Merrimaker, Golf Commentator,


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