Nov 19, 2010
The home of world comedy spoof entertainment +++ Pat Down Update

What Is Your Experience Of The New US Airport Security Pat Downs? Have Your Say

Patting For America

The New York Times this week wrote:

"In the three weeks since the Transportation Security Administration began more aggressive pat-downs of passengers at airport security checkpoints, traveler complaints have poured in."

Have your say...

Concerned Citizen
Jerry Seinfeld, Cuticutalist

"Is it rude to fart loudly and at length when a security officer has his fingers up your ass? Well, I did it anyway - he had gloves on and the 50 passengers watching thought it was funny."

Shocked Man
Georgie Bush, Dead Weight

"I had three security staff looking at me, which I thought was overkill even though I am 350 lbs. They found an iPad up my ass - nothing sinister there I had excessed my hand luggage allowance and had nowhere else to put it."

Ryan Reynolds, Professional Beefcake

"Mine was a good body workout - worked the genitals a bit more than I normally do in the gym but, hey, this guy in the gym once told me my penis has the same look and feel of semtex so you can't take any chances."

Old Gipper
Freddy Mercury, Fruit And Nut

"Gone are the days I can smuggle cocaine through as the white in my hair."

Ape Man
Clark Gable, Dam Engineer

"Don't make eye contact with them. Don't make jokes while they are patting you down. And for goodness sake don't get an erection because they call someone senior to take another look."


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