Aug 3, 2010
The home of world comedy spoof entertainment +++ In The Stars

Astrologers Discover New Star Sign, Could Be 'Start Of Trend'

Rabbit: Oct 11 - Oct 22

A new astrological star sign has been discovered, the first for 1700 years.

This brings to 13 the number of known astrological star signs.

Hard wording newspaper astrologers will now have to produce 13 daily predictions just at a time when cuts are already affecting the accuracy of newspaper horoscopes, already at their the least accurate for fifty years.

The new star sign is Rabbit, it runs from October 11th to October 22nd, cutting star sign Libra in half.

Librans have been amongst the first to criticize the discovery calling the news 'confusing', 'illogical' and 'doolally'.

As many as 300 million Libran's futures may be affected by these changes.

Rabbit star sign

Rabbits are one of the most sociable of star signs and love nothing better than pondering truths out loud, and at length given half the chance. Whilst some may consider them to be self absorbed, they make up for this with a boundless sexual prowess.

Their body type is almost always buff as they like to lift weights down the gym and go for an occasional run. They also like to eat pizza and beer until they fall unconscious.

Rabbits are home administrators; they love washing up especially saucepans and frying pans, and enjoy yellow floor coverings especially yellow with specks in. They always keep their lavatories in pristine condition and are guaranteed to have a six month supply of bluloo on hand for emergencies, although they usually run out of toilet paper at least six times a year.

Some have speculated that there could be over one million star signs in the universe.

A million star signs could mean the end to newspaper horoscopes as we know them today.

As one expert put it:

"There are an awful lot of stars out there."


The most accurate monthly horoscopes in the world are here.

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