The Chocolate Cheesecake Diet, a diet that claims it can help people lose weight by eating their normal daily food and in addition to that as much chocolate cheesecake as they can eat, has been applauded as "the most exciting development in dieting science since sliced bread" by scientists on telemarketing channels across the world.
Mary Morsel, 34, once weighed over 600 lbs but today she weighs 130 lbs and can finally get into a swim suit bought for her sarcastically by her mother. She lost all this weight by eating her usual daily food and up to fifteen slices of chocolate cheesecake every day for two years. She says:
"It's a truly delicious diet, and requires absolutely no effort on my part. I can eat my usual daily intake of food and the additional chocolate cheesecake just helps me shed the pounds. And the marvelous thing is it isn't any special cheesecake, it's whatever they have in the supermarket. Why can't all diets be this easy?"
Richard Dreyfus (not the actor), 56, lost 350 lbs on the Chocolate Cheesecake Diet, he says:
"I am writing to say thank you for your fantastic Chocolate Cheesecake Diet. It worked even better than you said it would. By just eating chocolate cheesecake every evening the weight just dropped off. I honestly couldn't believe it. Everything they said about losing weight was wrong and you were right. I am now the happiest man in the world."
Sarah Palin (not the politician), 46, lost 250lbs on the Chocolate Cheesecake Diet, she says:
"My namesake was on the television all the while during the election campaign and what a hot babe she is. So I thought there and then I would try to reduce my weight to a size similar to hers. I saw your Chocolate Cheesecake Diet in some email spam and whilst I have never answered such an ad before I did this time and I can only say what a fantastic discovery your Chocolate Cheesecake Diet is. I ate my regular food that had built me up from 150lbs to 250lbs in five years and within 6 months I was back to 150 lbs again thanks to you. You deserve a medal."
Michael Mallibilli, 27, lost 50lbs this is what he says:
"I am an intelligent honors graduate and I didn't believe a single word of what your ad said so I wrote off to you for the details just so that I could take the piss out of you and your stupid diet. So, I started your Chocolate Cheesecake Diet the day your envelope arrived and much to my incredulity I started losing weight on the tenth day, just like you said I would. From then on the weight just fell off. The more chocolate cheesecake I ate the lower my body fat went. This is the discovery of the millennium. You deserve a Nobel fat loss prize."
Lindsay Lohan (not the actress) lost 25lbs on the Chocolate Cheesecake Diet, this is what she had to say:
"I am absolutely amazed at how the weight just dropped off. I started the Chocolate Cheesecake Diet whilst I was incarcerated and there was little else to do but eat chocolate cheesecake all day. I lost 15lbs almost immediately. I would recommend it to anyone looking for an easy way to lose weight."