Dear BP Sirs,
Sorry if this sounds, like, the stupidest idea you have heard so far, but after you started throwing golf balls into the leaky oil hole you sorta sounded desperate so I thought I would write to you with my soon to be patent pending copyrighted funfair oil leak solution idea.
Well, I was out in the park at the weekend. Lovely weather. The kids had a great time and someone had organized this bouncy castle set up and the kids thought it was great and stuff and they spent, like, hours in it. And, of course, I had a go too. Great fun. And, as I was in there, you know, knocking the little kids over by just sort of moving my weight slightly towards them (they just don't have any strength in their little legs do they? really quite pathetic) it came to me, in a blinding moment of inspiration, that this very bouncy castle could help you out in the Mexican Gulf.
And I'm not seriously suggesting sending the actual bouncy castle I was bouncing on at the weekend down to the Gulf.
But, what about sending some other thing like a giant bouncy castle down to the leak, uninflated of course. Put it in the hole, and then inflate it? That would do the trick, surely. I mean you could take pressurized gas cylinders down couldn't you? I mean it sounds stupid, but, like, why not? You sound pretty desperate right now, would it make things any worse?
I suppose it doesn't have to be an actual bouncy castle, of course. I'm sure some of your engineers could come up with some, like, really really strong balloon type thingy - I'm thinking industrial grade rubber? Why not get the guy who found all those golf balls you threw in the hole, he's probably not doing anything much right now...
Put the bouncy castle type thingie in the hole, inflate it, then cement over, like, pronto when the oil leak is blocked. Voila!
I've been trying to find out on the internet how big the leaky hole is and I can't find anything but surely it must be about bouncy castle sized? It pretty much looks like that size to me on the video feed anyways.
Anyway, if you want to use my idea you can have it for a modest consultancy fee, but, hey, just run with it right this minute, we'll sort the payment side out later if it works...Desperate measures, desperate times and all.
Ben the Builder