theVoiceofReason.com
June 7, 2010
The home of world comedy spoof entertainment +++ Jack Flack
Spoof

Now 24 Has Ended, What Didn't You See Jack Bauer Do That You Wish You Had?

Jack Sacked
Concerned Citizen
Jim Meedsden, Circus Elephant Impersonator

"I'm thinking Jack Bauer vs BP would have been a perfect 24 season... All those dodgy English accents and a president who can't quite decide how angry he is."

   
Shocked Man
Burt Sprinkler, Radio Talk Show Host

"Did Jack ever get a confession using one of those road diggers that go phat phat phat? Missed opportunity."

   
Muscleman
John Tharsden, Bodybuilder Expert

"A correctly setup Pec Deck is the perfect torture rack, especially if you forget to set the bit that stops the arms going backwards. Jack could have just watched on as the terrorist Pec-Decked himself into submission. Both cruel and hilarious, what network could possibly have passed up such entertainment during the Bush years?"

   
Old Gipper
Benjamin Rusky, 70s Continuity Announcer

"A confession using a good old gramophone record player, one of those 78 rpm players. I'm thinking either the business end of the horn or the two inch long needle, I don't mind. Even bashing someone over the head with one of the disks gives a pleasingly hefty thud."

   
Ape Man
Murray Baldicoot, Sports commentator

"What about a confession by pulling, pushing and otherwise manipulating a terrorist's bushy mustache? It's such a shame facial hair is so rare on 24's baddies. It would have been a real treat, especially when the inevitable nose dribble is added into the mixture."

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