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May 26, 2010
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Which Pro Wrestler Would You Not Want To Match Up With, And Why?

Wrestling Reason
Concerned Citizen
Jim Meedsden, Circus Elephant Toe Varnisher

"It's got to be the Columbian Sumo Drug Lord. He may only be 5ft 6, but he's over 600lbs worth of sweaty hairy blubber - one sniff under that armpit and I, too, would be out for the count."

   
Shocked Man
Burt Sprinkler, Radio Talk Show Producer

"Zelda The Bearded Lady. 140lbs of pointy breasted mayhem and thighs that could choke a donkey."

   
Muscleman
John Tharsden, Bodybuilder Pec Bouncer

"Zeke The Invisible Man. Seriously, is there anything more dangerous than an invisible pro wrestling opponent? Once he whispers his secret hypnotic words, I, too, would be out in an instant. I honestly don't understand why anybody would get in the ring with him in the first place, it's madness."

   
Old Gipper
Benjamin Rusky, 70s Television Continuity Announcer

"Yeehawww Cowboy Dennis. I'd be alright until Cowboy's manager, Sheriff Burt, handed him the lasso and then it would all be over thanks to this commentator's gammy knee."

   
Ape Man
Murray Hairicoot, Pro Wrestling commentator

"I can't remember his name but his trademark move was that he pulled your tongue out and then strangled you with it. Nasty nasty nasty. Such strong fingers for an 80 year old too."

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