Jan 28, 2010
The home of world comedy spoof entertainment +++ iPad Revolution

My First Touch Of The Apple iPad Was Siimply iIncrediible, Liive iBlog

by our Technology Correspondent

San Francisco: I am sitting here blogging this report only thirty seconds after holding the new Apple iPad for the very first time.

I held the new device for a full two seconds as I was asked to pass it between the reporter from Newsweek, to US Weekly.

I had tried to play with it, of course, but the reporter from US Weekly looks surprisingly strong and I feared a violent wrestling match in which I was held responsible for breaking the first glass-screen iPad.

All I can say is that it is absolutely gorgeously, stunningly, beautifully, perfectly, put together.

Have they chosen the right name, iPad? I wondered. More like iIncrediblePieceOfTechnology, iWoweeeeeee, I'd say. OK so I have never been much for naming technology devices.

Hang on a minute: I am now typing this with my right hand as I am asked to quickly pass the iPad in my left hand back to the guy from Newsweek.

Beautifully, comfortingly, nicely, usefully, heavily put together, it is.

And that glorious screen! Cold, shiny, warmth. It almost glows. Fingergasms all round. I won't be washing my hands for a good few days now.

And are they selling it for a staggeringly, brilliantly, can't resist it $499?

If the iPad doesn't kick off a technological revolution, it will for the fashion industry which will rush to bring out pants with pockets big enough for the 9.7 inch screen device.

It is soooo cool.

I can hardly wait to pay the exorbitant prices on the iTunes store.

Wait a minute, back up a bit, it's made of glass, what if I sit on it?

I've just asked this out loud. Nobody knows. The Apple guy is looking away. I'm sure he can hear me but he looks like he is in a deep conversation with the guy from the Times.

Where's the camera?

No Flash?

Youtube looks great.

How long do the batteries last? 10 hours is the most they got according to Jobs (in second video, below). No, the Apple guy is still looking away. Why do the Apple people keep replacing the hand around iPad every thirty minutes?

Steve Jobs says: "That's fuckin YouTube!" in rousing keynote speech introducing the iPad...
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