10 |
Turkey Staycation: Dig a hole in your back yard and use it as a toilet. |
9 |
Greek Island Staycation: Arrange all your white furniture so that there are narrow pathways around your house then walk up and down aimlessly until you think of something interesting to do. |
8 |
Italy Staycation: Walk into everyone and look wantingly at their ass when they walk past. |
7 |
French Staycation: Eat lots of garlic, drink lots of red wine and moan a lot about the Americans. |
6 |
Australian Staycation: Tie corks and small koala bears to strings around the perimeter of your oversized bush hat and call every woman Sheila and every man Bruce. Drink loads of Aussie beer and get Crocodile Dundee 1, 2 and 3 out from the library. |
5 |
Austrian Staycation: Lock your family in the cellar and then go off on your own on holiday. |
4 |
Orlando Staycation: Charge $30 a day to stay in your house and then set up lines to queue for everything from breakfast and dinner, and to facilities such as the toilet (put a sign on the door: Rest Room). Remember: Minimum queuing time is 30 minutes for everything. |
3 |
Go to your regular supermarket, or wherever you buy your newspaper, and insist on paying ten times the amount on the front of the paper you normally get... |
2 |
Airport Staycation: Download a 'bing bong' sound effect off the internet and every time you want to announce anything to your family click the bing bong sound and then make your announcement while nipping your nose.. |
1 |
Print out some travel documents on the internet. Then get someone who normally loses everything to lose them. Then sit down with a glass of wine and ponder how stressed out you would be at this moment if you really were going away on vacation and you couldn't find your travel documents. Best staycation ever! |
