72
year old convicted fraudster Bernard "New Meat"
Madoff came out swinging this morning with a warning to
fellow cellmates: "I'm nobody's bitch."
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"I'll
show you a thing or two about corporate arbitrage
that will make your eyes water."
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As
authorities continued to look for a suitable prison for
the new bad boy of finance, he released a statement from
a temporary holding cell in New York:
"Anybody
who thinks this ass is easy meat then come and get it
and I'll show you a thing or two about corporate arbitrage
that will make your eyes water."
But
observers say his comments are just a futile attempt at
trash talking and in a cell fight Madoff is likely to come
off worse than the single bar of soap in the communal prison
showers.
An
expert in recreational prison abuse told this website:
"Bernard
Madoff is now the number 1 cell mate to get as information
he could give about the whereabouts of the stolen money
could be worth billions."
Sources
say that Madoff has been taking self defense lessons but
his progress has been haphazard.
"He
doesn't scream as much as he used to now, but unless there
is any paper in the cell to give his attacker a nasty
paper cut then I have little hope for his survival.
At
best he can give a yellow belt standard Chinese burn,
which on Wall Street can get you just about anywhere especially
if you are defrauding the elderly, but that just doesn't
work in any of the maximum security prisons that I know."
