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Jul 5, 2009
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Bernard Madoff To Fellow Prisoners: "I'm Nobody's Bitch"

Madoff As Hell And He's Not Gonna Take It Any More

72 year old convicted fraudster Bernard "New Meat" Madoff came out swinging this morning with a warning to fellow cellmates: "I'm nobody's bitch."

Madoff Smirk
"I'll show you a thing or two about corporate arbitrage that will make your eyes water."

As authorities continued to look for a suitable prison for the new bad boy of finance, he released a statement from a temporary holding cell in New York:

"Anybody who thinks this ass is easy meat then come and get it and I'll show you a thing or two about corporate arbitrage that will make your eyes water."

But observers say his comments are just a futile attempt at trash talking and in a cell fight Madoff is likely to come off worse than the single bar of soap in the communal prison showers.

An expert in recreational prison abuse told this website:

"Bernard Madoff is now the number 1 cell mate to get as information he could give about the whereabouts of the stolen money could be worth billions."

Sources say that Madoff has been taking self defense lessons but his progress has been haphazard.

"He doesn't scream as much as he used to now, but unless there is any paper in the cell to give his attacker a nasty paper cut then I have little hope for his survival.

At best he can give a yellow belt standard Chinese burn, which on Wall Street can get you just about anywhere especially if you are defrauding the elderly, but that just doesn't work in any of the maximum security prisons that I know."

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