A
missing person, last seen five months ago in Washington
DC, has turned up in Tampa Bay, Florida, today.
The
alcohol on-his-breath, unshaven, unkempt individual said
his name was George W Bush.
George
Bush has visibly aged, had a strong smell of alcohol on
his mouth, and a pungent aroma that suggested he hadn't
washed for the last five months.
An
expert in missing persons told this website:
"It's
shocking how quickly the downwards cycle can bring a man
down. Always a clumsy man cursed with bad luck, it looks
like the market economy has taken George Bush down a dark
alley and given him a right good kicking."
George
Bush's biographer told this website:
"I
hadn't heard from George since January, I just assumed
he was busy collecting his thoughts, working on his memoirs.
One
of the last things he said to me before his disappearance
was that we was going to find out how a Thesaurus worked.
George isn't a wordsmith so I expected a delay before
I heard from him. It might have been this that drove him
back to the bottle and then he went awol.
On
the positive side, his readjustment to normal society
will be a much better end to his years in office than
the worst financial crisis for a hundred years."
