The Correct Answer To The Question: Should Same Sex Marriage Be Legal?

This is what I would have said to Perez Hilton: "Thank you, Perez! [Clears throat] Marriage should be between two people who love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together to provide financial security in old age and a formal legal commitment to each other. Gay, [voice starts to break] straight or [pause] transgender.. [Start to cry] Oh, Perez no, no, no, I just can't go on." I would then walk off waving my arms in the air and sobbing uncontrollably so that mascara rolls down my magnificent bosoms.

This is what I would have said: "Perez, thank you so much for that question! Yes, same sex marriage should be legal and it is a disgrace that, in a country that likes to think of itself as The Land Of The Free, that two people who love each other should not be able to give a legal commitment, or union, to each other. So what do we have in this country? Some kind of fucking Nazi state? Huh? ANSWER ME? IS THAT WHAT WE DO IN THIS FUCKING COUNTRY? PERSECUTE HOMOSEXUALS? Huh? Oh, I'm off, I'm not going to win after that answer either am I? Perez, your questions suck!"

"Same sex marriage should be legal, of course. I have been happily married to myself for three years this August. We have never been happier."

"Two people in love making a legal commitment to each other? Is that too much to ask for? That and to watch mainstream movies with less violence but more ejaculate flying all over the place. Nadnabbit!"

"I married my wife twenty years ago this year. She changed sex to a man five years ago. I have never been happier, especially on donut day."