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Mar 22, 2009
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AIG Board Of 2007, Where Are They Now?

Helping America To Vent Its Fury

Have you seen any of the following board members of AIG, last seen in this picture from the AIG annual report 2007?

(Pictures reproduced with kind permission of a US taxpayer).

AIG Board, from 2007 report

Who is who on the AIG board

Where are they now?

1
Teddy 'Back Snapper' Johnson: It is reported that he is an advisor to high security detention center in Detroit. Lists interests as 'manacling prisoners', 'throwing tomatoes' at them and 'eating corn fed dwarf chickens three at a time'.
2
Bobby Ewing: Since December 2008 has been drilling for oil using his bare hands. Unsuccessfully applied for a Starbucks franchise in his home town but failed the financial tests (only the third person in history to be so denied).
3
Sue 'Flopsie' Ellen: Reports say that she drinks too heavily for her own good. Claims that she is actively looking for UFOs in her spare time using the method of looking up at the sky for days at a time.
4
JR: After getting a $60mn payoff he now punches little old ladies in the face just for fun.
5
Al Capone: Gun running for his 6 year old nephew in the family home, baking cakes and making jam.
6
Old Bill Hickok: Busy ghosting George W Bush's autobiography: "You All Misunderestimated The Extent Of My Messtimations."
7
'Eyebrows' McKey: Apparently has returned to his first love - torturing people using those eye caliper thingies that an optician uses.
8
Randy Carter: Has set up a vigilante group that goes out at night to shoot all wild dogs and the newly homeless in the neighborhood.
9
'Crazy Dog' Hartley: According to some sources, was strangled with piano wire after a viewer of the Daily Show saw a video of a person threatening to do it.
10
'Mad Dog' Willis: Was offered as a swap for Iranian hostages by CIA. The Iranians refused.
11
'Gurney Face' McAdams: Location unknown. Could be working for a traveling carnival as a lion tamer.
12
Jimmy 'Slaphead' Duncan: Has given up his executive career to concentrate on regrowing his hair.
 
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