Breaking
Business: The board of AIG have announced they
are to change the company's name to ARGH.
We
understand that the board had debated whether to put an
exclamation mark at the end of ARGH to make the company
name ARGH!, but decided against it after reference
to a focus group.
A
spokesman for the board apparently told out reporter:
"It
was felt that ARGH! gave the wrong impression.
Our focus group told us that an exclamation point at the
end of ARGH indicates a haphazardness, a randomness
if you want, to the group which we do not want to promote
going forward. It was felt that nobody would want to invest
in a company called ARGH!
However,
ARGH without the exclamation point encapsulated
more fully what the company today and going forward now
is, and our prospects for the future.
The
future is looking great, the future is now ARGH."
A
new advertising campaign under the slogan "The future
is looking ARGH" is set to begin mid April and
run until June, or until the money runs out whichever happens
first.
-x-x-x-
Correction:
In an earlier report we erroneously reported that the Federal
Reserve had injected "$7 Gazillionbabillion" into
AIG. We
are happy to clarify that nobody actually knows how much
has been injected.
