Breaking
shock horror:
A popular conspiracy, dating back to the pre-Internet era,
claims that Michael Jackson and La Toya Jackson are the
same person.
The
two, it is claimed, have never been seen together.
Now
could be our only chance to see if there is any truth to
this conspiracy theory as La Toya is currently being held
captive in the UK's Celebrity Big Brother house, along with
other celebrities including Verne 'Mini Me' Troyer and rap
star Coolio.
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Michael
Jackson
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La
Toya Jackson
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Ever
since La Toya entered the Big Brother house in London a
week ago, our paparazzi have been camping outside Michael
Jackson's Dubai residence in an attempt to take a picture
of him.
But,
shockingly, after one whole week of camping out poised with
our cameras to take a picture, we have not seen Michael,
heard him sing any of his hits or seen anyone entering or
leaving with a veil over their face.
Our
expert in conspiracy, Dr Smugsmith, told us yesterday:
"I
am surprised that we haven't seen Michael over the last
week. This could mean nothing, or it could mean everything.
On a balance of probabilities, and not wishing to rush
to a conclusion, I would speculate that this is damning
evidence that Michael Jackson and La Toya Jackson are
indeed one and the same person. Although if Michael is
seen whilst La Toya is still in the Big Brother house
then I reserve the right to change my opinion. Once La
Toya is out of the house all bets are off."
Lets
go 'live text' to our reporter hidden outside Michael Jackson's
house:
"Hello,
you join me here as I wait for Michael Jackson. I have
been here for a whole week now, and I have yet to see
him, any of his entourage or even anyone wearing a veil
over his face. I will update this text if I see anything."
Now
we cross 'live text' to outside the Celebrity Big Brother
house in London:
"Hello,
you join me here as I wait outside the Big Brother compound
here in east London. La Toya is still in the house, I
repeat La Toya is still in the house."
More
may follow.
-x-x-x-
PLEASE
NOTE: THIS STORY IS A SPOOF. It was written to parody
the media's attitude to the Jackson's.
