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VOR: US Election 2008 - What Happens
If They Don't Accept The Nomination?
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Sarah Scuffle
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Mission
accomplished! Hurrah! Yes! Whooo! Yip, yippeee yip yip hip
hooray!
In
both the Democrat and Republican conferences held to select
the nomination to run for US president, both candidates
actually accepted it. Result.
But
what would happen if the candidate walked up to the lectern
and said, "Thanks, appreciate it, I really do, but
I can't accept?"
Our
panel of experts in everything other than politics and American
constitutional law give us their views.
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Harry
Meedsden, Circus Artist
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"The
crowd would go silent and then the music would play
and the candidate would walk off waving to the crowd
and everyone in the crowd would look at each other
and shrug their shoulders and say "What are
we supposed to do now?" And then everyone would
go and get a cup of coffee and probably a donut
or one of the those large cookies with chocolate
chips in. Oh the queues!"
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Jerry
Sprinkler, Radio Talk Show Host
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"Women
would scream like in a horror movie made in the
1950's, men would shout "No! Let me att'em,
Chuck", children would look at their parents
in a 'oh you're so gonna pay for this waste of my
time you retard' kind of way, and the media would
cancel all television shows for the rest of the
week so that they can discuss what happens next
with flashy graphics calling this something like
the worst constitutional crisis since a Hollywood
actor was selected as Republican candidate."
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Hug
Tharsden, Bodybuilder
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"The
crowd would scream and shout as if the candidate
had just said 'I accept the nomination' and then
they would continue screaming and shouting while
he turned and walked back, waving to the crowd as
he went. Then there would be a period in which the
crowd continues shouting and screaming with no candidate
on the stage and then the lights would go up and
everybody would go home."
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Gramps
Rusky, Organic Farmer
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"There
would be absolute pandemonium. Young men would punch
old women and children would punch animals. Mules
would punch horses and sheep and pigs would fight
to the death. No, I think on balance it is only
polite for the candidate to accept once everybody
has gone to so much trouble."
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Harry
Baldicoot, Retired retirement consultant
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"In
the good old days all the candidates looked the
same so if one of them pulled out you would hardly
notice the change. Damn and tarnation to modern
politics!"
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