Sept 22, 2008
The home of world comedy spoof entertainment +++ Banker Bedlam

VOR - Investment Banks To Become Retail Banks, Can Our Experts See A Problem Here?

Investment Bunk

Reports are that the last two major Wall Street investment banks Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley have become retail banks and can now accept deposits from the public...

This move undoes regulation put in place after the Great Depression which said that retail banks had to be split from investment banks because, last time, the investment banks blew all the retail money making stupid investments...

Hilariously stupid George Bush swansong, or a sensible pragmatic decision in a crisis? Our experts give us their views:

Harry Meedsden, Circus Artist

"There isn't a problem with investment banks accepting retail deposits as long as they are regulated properly. And by regulation I mean at least a good lunch without wine twice a year with the regulators."

Jerry Sprinkler, Radio Talk Show Host

"Sound bites fail me as to the crass stupidity and short term expedience of making two highly toxic investment banks into retail banks... Uhm... They're offering 15% guaranteed tax free on deposits? Sweet. Where do I sign up?"

Hug Tharsden, Bodybuilder

"I wanted excitement when I voted George Bush in to office. The guy hasn't disappointed me one little bit. It's such a shame that he will be out of office in January 2009, then it's back to boring old bungee jumping again..."

Gramps Rusky, Organic Farmer

"Great! A retail deposit account with a currency swap derivative option. Sign me up for thirty five times my annual salary which I have just made up on the application form. Hurrah!"

Harry Baldicoot, Retired retirement consultant

"I don't believe in money. I only ever barter. "

Give us your views:


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