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Aug 12, 2008
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Voices Of Reason: What Annoyed Us About The Olympic Opening Ceremony

Beijing Bother

"Oh it was just wonderful", "amazing", "they have come such a long way", "marvelous", "impressive", "brilliant", "the best damn opening ceremony ever". These were just a few of the sickeningly sycophantic comments we have heard about the Beijing Olympics opening ceremony. Our expert panel of reasoners give us their quibbles...

Harry Meedsden, Circus Artist

"It went on about three hours too long for me. Couldn't they get the athletes to run round the track when they come in, I mean they must be fit enough?"

   
Jerry Sprinkler, Radio Talk Show Host

"Damn! I only have five words: 'Men walking around as paintbrushes.' It makes my blood boil."

   
Hug Tharsden, Bodybuilder

"I would have liked a few more blue and green fireworks. Far too commi-red and orange for me."

   
Jenny Smith, Financial Ombudsman

"My least favorite bit was when the athletes walked into the arena. Now, in my country we only get to see our own nation competing in the events, sometimes it's like there are no other countries in the competition at all. So why couldn't they have edited it so that viewers only get to see their own nation walk out? That could have saved two and a half hours."

   
Rabbit Hutch, Organic Farmer

"Was George Bush slumped in the chair eating nuts? Pretzels? Or was he just chewing his tongue? He single handedly ruined the whole opening ceremony for me."

   
Harry Baldicoot, Retired retirement consultant

"As for the fireworks, did they go whizz bang kerpow? The damn commentator kept talking, couldn't hear a thing."

 

 

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