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Voices Of Reason: What Annoyed Us About
The Olympic Opening Ceremony
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Beijing Bother
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"Oh
it was just wonderful", "amazing", "they
have come such a long way", "marvelous",
"impressive", "brilliant", "the
best damn opening ceremony ever". These were just a
few of the sickeningly sycophantic comments we have heard
about the Beijing Olympics opening ceremony. Our expert
panel of reasoners give us their quibbles...
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Harry
Meedsden, Circus Artist
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"It
went on about three hours too long for me. Couldn't
they get the athletes to run round the track when
they come in, I mean they must be fit enough?"
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Jerry
Sprinkler, Radio Talk Show Host
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"Damn!
I only have five words: 'Men walking around as
paintbrushes.' It makes my blood boil."
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Hug
Tharsden, Bodybuilder
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"I
would have liked a few more blue and green fireworks.
Far too commi-red and orange for me."
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Jenny
Smith, Financial Ombudsman
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"My
least favorite bit was when the athletes walked
into the arena. Now, in my country we only get to
see our own nation competing in the events, sometimes
it's like there are no other countries in the competition
at all. So why couldn't they have edited it so that
viewers only get to see their own nation walk out?
That could have saved two and a half hours."
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Rabbit
Hutch, Organic Farmer
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"Was
George Bush slumped in the chair eating nuts? Pretzels?
Or was he just chewing his tongue? He single handedly
ruined the whole opening ceremony for me."
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Harry
Baldicoot, Retired retirement consultant
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"As
for the fireworks, did they go whizz bang kerpow?
The damn commentator kept talking, couldn't hear
a thing."
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