theVoiceofReason.com
May 14, 2008
The home of world comedy spoof entertainment +++ Street Fight Extra
Spoof

What Is the Strangest Weapon You Have Ever Used In A Fight?

Street Fight 'Advice'

As a college student is charged with attacking a police officer with M&M's, we ask our panel of street fighting experts what is their preferred non-weapony weapon in a fight... [Link to M&Ms story from chron.com]

Harry Meedsden, Circus Artist

"Ever since watching the movie Point Break I have always wanted to start off a fight by throwing a dog at someone. Imagine my happiness when the opportunity presented itself while I was out jogging one morning on Miami Beach. I still have no idea who's dog it was, it's still all a blur, but I have a feeling I won as I have this guys cell phone and wallet in the kitchen."

   
Jerry Sprinkler, Radio Talk Show Host

"I once started a street fight with one of those cold blocks you put in a cooler box to keep it cold. Luckily I quickly managed to overcome my opponent and my cooler box contents never warmed up!"

   
Hug Tharsden, Bodybuilder

"I once started a fight with a weather cock. It was quite an effective weapon and the head of the peacock (at the top of the 'cock) did the required duties of making my assailant withdraw to a safe distance. Luckily the weather didn't change during the fight or I might have gotten in to trouble."

   
Jenny Smith, Financial Ombudsman

"The smallest thing I have ever started a fight with is my makeup compact. It didn't do much damage but I powdered that bitch's nose good and proper."

   
Rabbit Hutch, Organic Farmer

"I have started a street fight with various vegetables in my time. Let me think...

Yes... My preferred offensive vegetable is a large Swede, they really can get quite heavy. Carrots and parsnips are also good in hand to hand vegetable fights."

   
Harry Baldicoot, Retired retirement consultant

"My best street fight non-weapony weapon are my oversized spectacles. The good thing with using your eye glasses like this is that whilst wearing them you can at first say something like: 'You'd never hit a guy in glasses would you?', and then, after he nods his agreement, you can deftly swipe them off your nose and beat him mercilessly about the head with them. Never mess with a man in oversized glasses is my motto."

 

 

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