April 10, 2008
The home of world comedy spoof entertainment +++ Charlton Dead'un

Funeral Home Unable To Remove Gun From Charlton Heston's Cold Dead Hands

Gun Gaffe

Just when it looked like Charlton Heston's death couldn't get any worse, it got even worse last night.

After three days trying, directors in charge of the Charlton Heston funeral have revealed that they have been unable to remove the gun from his cold dead hands.

A spokesman for the funeral home told this website:

"We have tried everything but he just won't let go.

We have been unable to get instructions from his family on how to proceed, we could of course break some fingers, but that really is a last resort.

We have tried warming his hands up a bit but no joy, someone in the office suggested we tried vinegar but that just made him smell funny.

Even in death he's an extraordinarily strong man."

Heston famously claimed at an NRA meeting that they would have to take the gun from his cold dead hands, however at the time he said that few realized that in death this would prove much more difficult than he seemed to imply.

An expert in guns stuck in hands told this website:

"If the worst comes to the worst then he should be buried with the gun. It's probably how he would have wanted to go."

One American died.


In other news:

The National Rifle Association has declared Monday 14th April 2008 as a day of mourning for Charlton Heston with a one minute tribute of random shooting at 11am.


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