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April 9, 2008
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Swoon Boom Continues: IMF Upgrades George Clooney 'Gorgeousness' 2008-2012

Are You Immune To the Swoon?

The International Monetary Fund has upgraded George Clooney's 'gorgeousness' for the next 4 years to over 2% growth pa, the highest number ever seen in history.

Sally Bushington, Junior Analyst at the IMF, told reporters:

"Clooney swoon is set to hold up well during these troubled mildly recessionary times."

Experts predict that George Clooney will become more gorgeous than every other man in the world combined if his swoon factor continues to grow at its current rate, by 2015.

But critics of Clooney are not impressed: "The boom of swoon could lead to a nasty crash in the early years of the next decade if his gorgeousness isn't curbed now," said Harry Swoonfellows of the Institute of Animal Husbandry. "We are calling for fewer manicures, worse haircuts and less shaving now to help curb the inevitable swoon crisis later."

But how Clooney could possibly be less gorgeous leaves women, some as old as 96, bewildered, as the following vox pop in the streets showed:

"I've been a fan of Clooney since Roseanne when he was just a spindly youth," said a fattish, brightly colored bloused woman.

"Clooney swoon is here to stay," according to a slim big-haired woman with large glasses.

"He's the modern day Cary Grant and everyone knows he was a leading man well into his 90's," said a woman in a wheelchair.

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In other related news:

Female interviewers in London have been offered counseling after meeting George Clooney, who is currently promoting his movie Leatherheads.

 

 
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