Clinton's claims that she was shot at by snipers on arrival
at Tuzla Airport, Bosnia, in March 1996, has since been
proven to be a pack of 'misstatements'.
it could all have been so different, according to one eagle-eyed
Mdanka, 45, was a fighter in the conflict, and has told
our reporter that, had he known the former first lady wanted
to be shot at when she arrived, he would have made a 'better
effort to oblige'.
knew when she was arriving, I suppose I could have got
off my ass and taken a few shots. It's a thing we like
to do for tourists, to give them a story to take home
to their mates down the pub or for future political campaigns."
as it happened, Mdanka drank cans of beer until he could
barely walk to the bathroom. No Americans died.
Our earlier claims that Barack Obama can 'fart and whistle
at the same time' were not verified by Ted Kennedy as our
earlier report claimed, and no similar verification for
this talent has been obtained at the time of going to press.
John McCain does not have 'a mouth the size of a large melon'
as we mistakenly reported last week. We are happy to retract
the allegation, and make a small donation to a vegetable
charity in Des Moines.