already know that we have the sexiest satire readers in
the world, however in order to get the most out of your
sexercise workout, it's necessary to have the correct warm
are five warm-up sexercises to get you in the mood for your
Valentine's Day workout...
Lip-ups - Get your kissing lips ready for some action!
Pout out. Pout in. Pout up and pout down... It may feel
strange at first but it is important to have strong lips
for a number of our sexercise moves later in the workout.
Tongue curls - a muscular tongue pays dividends in sexercise.
The last thing you want is a tired tongue after only a few
minutes sexercising. Try eating toffee with just your tongue
(Warning: Death can be caused by choking on unchewed toffee.)
Neck bends - move your neck forwards and backwards,
left and right, then round in a circle.
Chest thump - Be Tarzan! You may like to growl or yodel
a scream. This workout improves the tone of the chest and
bashes fat about. It may cause redness if you Tarzan your
chest too vigorously. If the sound of slapping is acceptable
(remember the slapping sound can be heard outside most doors)
then slap and thump at random.
The ass slap - slapping your own ass makes it tighter
and knocks the fat about. This is a good workout for shower
time, or while waiting for a bus or train.