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Harry
Meedsden, Circus Artist
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"Aliens
can be split into Beatles men and Elvis men. I just
hope that alien life forms who receive humanity's
broadcasts of Beatles hits are Beatles fans and
not Elvis men. Pissy Elvis men can be mean when
roused and can kick like mules."
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Jerry
Sprinkler, Radio Talk Show Host
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"I
think I can speak for everyone here when I say "bring
it on alien life forms!" I will be the first
to shake their tentacles in friendship, or the first
to fire the first shot if they fire first."
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Hug
Tharsden, Bodybuilder
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"I
do hope our experience in Iraq hasn't shut the doors
on at least the concept of a preemptive war against
alien cultures we know nothing about. We have a duty
to protect planet earth in all of its blue and green
splendor."
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Jenny
Smith, Financial Ombudsman
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"What
is it with these scientists? Who gave them the God-given
right to advertise mankind's existence to the alien
life forms out there?"
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Rabbit
Hutch, Organic Farmer
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"These
scientists have gotten my alien meeting hopes up
in the past only to dash them with a slow burning
nothing happingness. I WANT RESULTS!"
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Harry
Baldicoot, Retired retirement consultant
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"I
can tell you this: I won't be holding my pee waiting
for them to make contact with aliens. I have a feeling
that if I did I would become a human pee bomb ultimately
exploding like a veritable Big Bang of urine. No
No No. I'll bide my time with regular toilet breaks
until contact is made."
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