Feb 24, 2008
The home of world comedy spoof entertainment +++ Academy Awards Update

Minor Academy Awards, Including Oscar For Best Mustache, That You May Have Missed

Oscar Heaven

Once again is here reporting the Oscar awards that nobody else was awake to see... (Winner in bold).

Oscar For Best Mustache / Facial Hair in a motion picture:

Daniel Day-Lewis, "There Will Be Blood" (Mustacheier: Maurice Campbell)

Casey Affleck, "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford", (Mustacheier: Jenny Blaine)

Tommy Lee Jones, "In The Valley of Elah" (Mustacheier: Barry Crumpet)

Brad Pitt, "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford", (Mustacheier: Jenny Blaine)

Cate Blanchett, "Elizabeth: The Golden Age" (Mustacheier and lavereur: Maximillian Smith)

Oscar For Longest Ass Numbing / Bladder Popping movie

"The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford", directors cut. Running Time 5 hours 35 minutes

"Atonement", 'editors strike' cut. Running Time 7 hours 10 minutes

"No Country for Old Men", Geriatric Cut. Running Time 4 hours 56 minutes

"Michael Clayton", special George Clooney lingering Valentines DVD cut. Running Time 4 hours 45 minutes.

"Eastern Promises". Completely unedited version. Running Time 17 days, 5 hours 14 minutes.

Accountants Special Budgetary (Cost Saving) Oscar, best use of public domain music / video/ dialogue in a movie:

"Le Mozart des Pickpockets (The Mozart of Pickpockets)" - various Mozart compositions.

"Ratatouille" - recipe for Ratatouille.

"The Bourne Ultimatum" - Mr Damon's 'pudding bowl' haircut.

"Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End" - Bow and arrow set

"La Vie en Rose" - various French melodies and accents.

Oscar for Best David Bowie impression in a movie:

Johnny Depp in "Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" - singing voice

Cate Blanchett in "Elizabeth: The Golden Age" - makeup and hair (two nominations)

Daniel Day-Lewis in "There Will Be Blood" - underwear

Best use of wildlife in a motion picture:

"The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" - Butterfly

"Sicko" - Cuban

"There Will Be Blood" - Wild Dog

"La Vie en Rose" - Crocodile

"Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End" - Hippopotamus



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