theVoiceofReason.com - Minor Academy Awards, Including Oscar For Best Mustache, That You May Have Missed - Spoof

Once again theVoiceofReason.com is here reporting the Oscar awards that nobody else was awake to see... (Winner in bold).

Oscar For Best Mustache / Facial Hair in a motion picture:

Daniel Day-Lewis, "There Will Be Blood" (Mustacheier: Maurice Campbell)

Casey Affleck, "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford", (Mustacheier: Jenny Blaine)

Tommy Lee Jones, "In The Valley of Elah" (Mustacheier: Barry Crumpet)

Brad Pitt, "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford", (Mustacheier: Jenny Blaine)

Cate Blanchett, "Elizabeth: The Golden Age" (Mustacheier and lavereur: Maximillian Smith)

Oscar For Longest Ass Numbing / Bladder Popping movie

"The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford", directors cut. Running Time 5 hours 35 minutes

"Atonement", 'editors strike' cut. Running Time 7 hours 10 minutes

"No Country for Old Men", Geriatric Cut. Running Time 4 hours 56 minutes

"Michael Clayton", special George Clooney lingering Valentines DVD cut. Running Time 4 hours 45 minutes.

"Eastern Promises". Completely unedited version. Running Time 17 days, 5 hours 14 minutes.

Accountants Special Budgetary (Cost Saving) Oscar, best use of public domain music / video/ dialogue in a movie:

"Le Mozart des Pickpockets (The Mozart of Pickpockets)" - various Mozart compositions.

"Ratatouille" - recipe for Ratatouille.

"The Bourne Ultimatum" - Mr Damon's 'pudding bowl' haircut.

"Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End" - Bow and arrow set

"La Vie en Rose" - various French melodies and accents.

Oscar for Best David Bowie impression in a movie:

Johnny Depp in "Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" - singing voice

Cate Blanchett in "Elizabeth: The Golden Age" - makeup and hair (two nominations)

Daniel Day-Lewis in "There Will Be Blood" - underwear

Best use of wildlife in a motion picture:

"The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" - Butterfly

"Sicko" - Cuban

"There Will Be Blood" - Wild Dog

"La Vie en Rose" - Crocodile

"Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End" - Hippopotamus

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