1) Beware The Dangers In Data Mining. On paper it seems like a nice and
simple idea. Take a phone directory and find all of the Sarah Connor's in town.
But look what happened! Two perfectly innocent Sarah Connor's murdered to death
and the one you want escapes. Damn IT Data Miners in Hell...
2) Managing With A Foreign Accent. Arnold Schwarzenneger is an inspiration
to all managers with a foreign accent. Most employees prefer the short sharp quick
to the point instructions even if it is in a foreign accent.
3) The Use Of Catch Phrases To Assert Your Authority. Where would Arnold
Schwarzennegger be today without his catch phrase 'I'll Be Back'. DON'T USE THIS
ONE, but choose a management phrase to set you above the crowd of other managers.
4) Beating The Competition When You Have Inferior Equipment. Sheer
aggression and ingenuity can give you a real advantage over better equipped competition.
Make sure you go to all of the management sharpshooting seminars available to
you and, if it comes to the decision to either shoot or not shoot at your competition
in a crowded area where innocent bystanders could be hit, train yourself to instinctively
kill any stupid bystanders silly enough to get in your way.
5) Managing Technology. Whilst all technology isn't bad, the technology
that is firing live bullets and/or rocket launchers at you is. Don't let this
put you off technology completely. Remember that technology has given us the Internet,
DVDs and a nice living as a middle manager in IT.
Tips from Shrek
Tips from Pirates Of the Caribbean
Tips from The Fantastic Four
Tips from The Exorcist