1) Project Management. Sometimes a project takes on a life of its own.
There is nothing you can do to stop the devil wrecking your best laid management
plans, just recite 'The Power Of Christ compels you' and get the Lord's Prayer
off pat. Unfortunately the movie doesn't give much solace to those not of a Christian
persuasion, so other religions you're on your own guys...
2) Listening. Never ever listen to a word that an actor tells you. The
acting profession is well known for its over-embellishment and hysterics. In this
case the actress in question tells you her 12 year old daughter is acting as if
possessed by the devil... Only believe her when you see the pea soup actually
coming from her daughter's mouth. This movie is in fact an example of an actor
actually telling the truth. Remember this is Hollywood and that doesn't happen
3) Shouting To Get Your Point Across. Shouting is an important part of
being a manager, however shouting when someone is projectile vomiting at you with
pea soup is not advised under any circumstances. This tip is very similar to not
spitting in the wind... there is absolutely no point in shouting whilst someone
is projectile vomiting at you. At the risk of stating the bleedin obvious: all
that will come of it is a mouthful of pea soup vomit which could lead to severe
choking... and that taste will stay with you for a month.
4) Shouting Part 2. Never ever ever, no matter how angry you become,
shout at the top of your voice: "Your mother sucks cocks in hell."
5) Strange Backwards Voices. If you hear strange voices on your dictation
machine erase them immediately. If, when you re-record, the strange voices are
still there, play them backwards to see if they make any sense. If your dictation
machine is possessed there really is nothing you can do... IT support will only
be interested so far as they can later post your phone call on their blog... best
thing is to get a new dictation machine and keep quiet about it, and it's probably
best to be nice to your mother...
Tips from The Terminator