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July 11, 2007
The home of world comedy spoof entertainment +++ Management Madness 3
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Management Tips From The Movies Part 4: The Exorcist

Mayhem IV

All this week we have been suggesting management tips from the movies, after a group of Italian academics produced a book outlining the positive management messages from 50 selected movies.

First we selected Pirates of the Caribbean, then Shrek. Yesterday The Fantastic Four...

Today one of the most important movies for managers yet, William Friedkin's The Exorcist.

TIP 1) Project Management. Sometimes a project takes on a life of its own. There is nothing you can do to stop the devil wrecking your best laid management plans, just recite 'The Power Of Christ compels you' and get the Lord's Prayer off pat. Unfortunately the movie doesn't give much solace to those not of a Christian persuasion, so other religions you're on your own guys...

TIP 2) Listening. Never ever listen to a word that an actor tells you. The acting profession is well known for its over-embellishment and hysterics. In this case the actress in question tells you her 12 year old daughter is acting as if possessed by the devil... Only believe her when you see the pea soup actually coming from her daughter's mouth. This movie is in fact an example of an actor actually telling the truth. Remember this is Hollywood and that doesn't happen very often.

TIP 3) Shouting To Get Your Point Across. Shouting is an important part of being a manager, however shouting when someone is projectile vomiting at you with pea soup is not advised under any circumstances. This tip is very similar to not spitting in the wind... there is absolutely no point in shouting whilst someone is projectile vomiting at you. At the risk of stating the bleedin obvious: all that will come of it is a mouthful of pea soup vomit which could lead to severe choking... and that taste will stay with you for a month.

TIP 4) Shouting Part 2. Never ever ever, no matter how angry you become, shout at the top of your voice: "Your mother sucks cocks in hell."

TIP 5) Strange Backwards Voices. If you hear strange voices on your dictation machine erase them immediately. If, when you re-record, the strange voices are still there, play them backwards to see if they make any sense. If your dictation machine is possessed there really is nothing you can do... IT support will only be interested so far as they can later post your phone call on their blog... best thing is to get a new dictation machine and keep quiet about it, and it's probably best to be nice to your mother...

Management Tips from The Terminator

 

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