1) LOOKS AREN'T EVERYTHING. Unless they have a criminal conviction rough
looking employees are generally really really good/nice people, they just don't
take kindly to 'management speak'. As their employer you should have done all
of the basic police searches and taken up any relevant references so you should
know whether they have any criminal convictions. If, as a manager, you look big
and rough use it to scare others and impose your will.
2) EVERY SUCCESSFUL MANAGER NEEDS A DONKEY. Everyone needs a deputy, like
Donkey to Shrek. Like Shrek, lay down the framework for the relationship (i.e.
no whistling or singing at work). If you are a Donkey, never let your superior
tell you what to do. And always have a supply of tic tacs on hand for when the
close-quarters shouting takes place...
3) HOW TO DEAL WITH SHORT PEOPLE: Shrek has to handle Lord Farquaad in
the first Shrek movie. If you yourself are a decent size it is always difficult
to take seriously instructions given to you by very very short people. Management
experts vary on how to deal with short people. Some say treat them like small
children, others say laugh openly and at length to their face until they resign.
(Note you will never get sacked for laughing at a short person because any arbitration
committee will always see your point of view).
4) PROJECT MANAGEMENT. Most big projects are exactly like freeing a damsel
in distress from a tall tower. Take advice from Shrek and battle on without a
day-to-day plan, but just an overall plan ie to free the damsel in order for Lord
Farquaad to give Shrek his own home. Property is never a bad purchase unless it's
at the very top of the market. Free property is always good.
5) CONSIDERATE MANAGEMENT CAN SOMETIMES PAYS DIVIDENDS. Remember: Slaying
the dragon is not always necessary for a successful project. Considerate management
sometimes pays dividends. Depending on the project avoid what is euphemistically
called collateral damage (buildings and any thing/persons inside). By minimizing
the destruction you can sometimes discover new people to employ or use to your
advantage in sequels or other projects.
Tips From The Fantastic Four
Tips from The Exorcist
Tips from The Terminator