July 30, 2007
The home of world comedy spoof entertainment +++ Drug Drama

Number Of People Who Watch Tour De France High On Drugs Hits All Time High

French Farce

The number of people high on drugs while watching the Tour De France has doubled over the last five years, according to shocking figures that have come into our possession.

A drugged up reader, Mimi De Flories, emailed us to say:

"I only ever watch cycling when I am high as a kite, it's so boring otherwise."

It is estimated that heroin users make up over 15% of the television audience of the Tour De France at any given time. This figure has risen sharply in recent years due to the growth of large windscreen televisions which allow viewers to sit so close to the screen that they can get the effect of close-to-the-ground-flying.

The percentage of spectators on drugs is fast approaching the percentage of competitors on drugs, according to documents we found on the internet; but these are still 10 years away from the percentages of television workers on drugs if the growth of the last five years were to continue.

A drugged up fan of the race reflected:

"If drug taking is so common in the Tour De France, you've just got to admire their balancing skills."


Note: A number of our staff at smoked Cannabis whilst at University. Whilst we are ashamed to admit that we did inhale, we are proud to say that we coughed and vomited for the following twenty-five minutes.


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