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July 22, 2007
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Highlights From The Fox News Bush Colonoscopy Special

Bush Intestine Incidents

They've been up Bush's ass for most of his presidency, and this seems to be the payoff for Fox News...

...three hours of colonoscopy coverage, the best bits we have summarized below...

The Bush Colonoscopy Special aired on Fox News 2:30-5:30 Friday:

...

"Hey Jim, OK where are we at with the second official Bush Presidency colonoscopy?"

"Hey Shaun I'm standing here by the live colonoscopy feed, and you join me just in time to see the micro camera going in, there we go, and was that a squashing sound I heard there or is someone eating a peach? Uhm, the light's gone on and there we go [...] The doctors are looking for polyps, but so far I certainly can't see anything, can you Shaun?"

"Not yet, Jim, no. Quite a surprise early on in the procedure... the doctor controlling the colonoscopy camera went left, I was expecting right. I was only speaking to the doctor about thirty minutes before he went into theater and he was right handed so going left was a bit of a surprise there... But as you say, Jim, nothing much yet to report other than it's pretty clean and pink up there."

"Yes President's Bush's intestines are very clean so far which is just as well considering over 5 million Fox News viewers are tuning in right now..."

...

"I've got Dick Cheney on the phone, Dick have you been watching our coverage here?"

"Yes I have and I'm just so glad it's going this well. It's a tribute to all the Staff at Fox News that this procedure is going so well, thank you guys..."

....

"Yea, if you watch closely on this fifteenth rerun of the endoscopic camera as it enters the Presidential anus..."

"Yes this is the first time a living President has had his anus and small intestine covered on live television..."

...

"Oh my Gentle Jesus it's like Alien in there, aaaahhhhhhh! OOOooooooooiiiiiiiiiioooo!!!"

....

"Here we go... down the small bowel and up, round.... it's a bit like PacMan, Jim, but without the power pills???"

...

"I'm now speaking to the doctor who has control of the endoscopic colonoscopy camera. Hey Doc, I wonder if you could give Fox News a few words... I don't want to disturb you here but, how's it going?..."

"Just a minute. Oh, I've just dropped, oh, good, caught it..."

 

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