They've
been up Bush's ass for most of his presidency, and this seems to be the payoff
for Fox News...
...three
hours of colonoscopy coverage, the best bits we have summarized below...
The
Bush Colonoscopy Special aired on Fox News 2:30-5:30 Friday:
...
"Hey
Jim, OK where are we at with the second official Bush Presidency colonoscopy?"
"Hey
Shaun I'm standing here by the live colonoscopy feed, and you join me just in
time to see the micro camera going in, there we go, and was that a squashing sound
I heard there or is someone eating a peach? Uhm, the light's gone on and there
we go [...] The doctors are looking for polyps, but so far I certainly can't see
anything, can you Shaun?"
"Not
yet, Jim, no. Quite a surprise early on in the procedure... the doctor controlling
the colonoscopy camera went left, I was expecting right. I was only speaking to
the doctor about thirty minutes before he went into theater and he was right handed
so going left was a bit of a surprise there... But as you say, Jim, nothing much
yet to report other than it's pretty clean and pink up there."
"Yes
President's Bush's intestines are very clean so far which is just as well considering
over 5 million Fox News viewers are tuning in right now..."
...
"I've
got Dick Cheney on the phone, Dick have you been watching our coverage here?"
"Yes
I have and I'm just so glad it's going this well. It's a tribute to all the Staff
at Fox News that this procedure is going so well, thank you guys..."
....
"Yea,
if you watch closely on this fifteenth rerun of the endoscopic camera as it enters
the Presidential anus..."
"Yes
this is the first time a living President has had his anus and small intestine
covered on live television..."
...
"Oh
my Gentle Jesus it's like Alien in there, aaaahhhhhhh! OOOooooooooiiiiiiiiiioooo!!!"
....
"Here
we go... down the small bowel and up, round.... it's a bit like PacMan, Jim, but
without the power pills???"
...
"I'm
now speaking to the doctor who has control of the endoscopic colonoscopy camera.
Hey Doc, I wonder if you could give Fox News a few words... I don't want to disturb
you here but, how's it going?..."
"Just
a minute. Oh, I've just dropped, oh, good, caught it..."
