According
to our celebrity reporter, Paris Hilton has escaped from jail
after only 3 days.
The
27 year-old celebrity heiress escaped from
the Century Regional Detention Facility, Los Angeles, this
morning in a laundry basket, she was dressed as a Mexican
cleaning woman.
Hilton
hid in the laundry basket over night. This basket was moved
at 6:31am when the cleaning contractors removed it in the
classic jail escape technique that has been foolin' 'em
for years.
Hilton
then returned to her home, fed her cat, did the New York
Times crossword, called her broker to reduce her top-heavy
position in utility stocks, and took a shower.
During
her time in jail she watched Brad Pitt movies and refused
to eat Wieners, according to unreliable
sources.
Despite
reports from some web
sites she didn't have a cell mate, apart from
her imaginary friend Jerry, who is a buff 6ft 2, tanned,
blue eyes and has a Mediterranean accent.
In
other related news:
Following
Paris Hilton's escape, media jail watchers have criticized
Martha Stewart as 'useless' for not finding a way to escape
from jail during her recent stay.
President
Bush has been kept informed of the Paris Hilton escape at
the G8 summit in Humberglobengloolumstadt. In other other
G8 news: Five people dressed as clowns have had their noses
confiscated in a security lock down in Berlin.
