June 21, 2007
The home of world comedy spoof entertainment +++ Harry Potter

How Will The Harry Potter Saga End? Our Workers Give Us Their Suggestions

Harry Hilarity has always prided itself on being an inclusive web site, which means that we sometimes let the cleaners and the carpenters and the trash collectors have a say in how the web site is run, and not just because they are cheap (which they are)... it's because we are inclusive...

With the seventh and, it is claimed, last, episode of JK Rowling's epic classic, out in July, we ask how on earth will she manage to finish it all off?

Our editors are already on record, about two books ago, predicting that Voldemort is some kind of Darth Vadery Harry Potter's Dad type thingie - if we are even roughly right then we want our money back. Only 30 days now before we find out for real.

Here our Harry Potter experts give us their views on how they think the saga will end...

(Spoiler warning: Although we don't know how the saga will end, this page includes events and terms that have happened earlier in the series that have not made it to the films yet...)

Jacky Smith, 37, office cleaner of cubicles and monitors, floor 6, and floors 8-10:

"Professor Snape, the Half Blood Prince, having supposedly killed Dumbledore at the end of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, was only foolin'. Snape had to look like he was against Dumbledore so that he could fool Voldemort who thinks he's working for him. A bit like Jack Bauer in 24. Snape is actually working for Dumbledore and the good guys. Killing Dumbledore was just a charade. Harry discovers this by about page 700. By Page 705 it's all over in a big puff of smoke. Voldemort is dead from shock at the news."

Henry Milligan, 46, Office Supplies Manager:

"The end of the ending: Harry, having seen off Voldemort, sweeps Ginny up in his arms in a Richard Gere in An Officer And A Gentleman type way but in overly camp wizarding clothes. I will cry for hours on end I can feel it now. Public outcry will force Rowling to write another book."

Jenny Jentile, 87, Head Of Corporate Finance,

"In the final episode of the Harry Potter saga nobody is who they appear to be. Everyone, it transpires, has a bit of a Horcrux of someone who is dead hidden in them somewhere. Luckily Snape is part Harry's Dad and they fight each other in a scene a bit like in Fight Club when you find out the two main characters are in fact the same person. It all ends eventually with all of the horcruxes resolved, apart from Elvis's who remains missing. There will not be a book 8."


Please send your prediction to We'll print the funniest/best ones...


Thanks to ralphr1948 for sending in this prediction:

"Harry will return to Hogwarts as the Defense against the Dark Arts teacher. Professor McGonagall will become head of Hogwarts. Snape will die as will Hagrid and Ron. Draco Malfoy will ally with Harry to kill Voldemort. Hermione will return to life as a Muggle."


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